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15 min 43 sec
Available in:English

Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power, and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All

Shows how a male-dominated system still limits women's control over their bodies and pleasure, how marketed girl power hides it, and where real change has to start, from media and health care to sex education.

Table of Content

Many people assume women already won their freedom, and Jaclyn Friedman thinks much of that freedom is a costume. In Unscrewed, the writer and activist calls it fauxpowerment: the belief that because some women can be openly sexual, the work is finished. Behind it, she argues, an old structure still decides who gets believed after an assault, who gets birth control and what boys learn about sex.

The MeToo movement drew the headlines, but Friedman’s case is that the problem is a whole system, so no single hashtag or court case can fix it. Change has to reach the media, health care, the place of religion in public policy and the classroom. Her evidence runs from the Spice Girls and Playboy to a university’s tax dispute in 1976 and the classrooms of the Netherlands. The payoff is a way to see the system’s moving parts, to tell real power from a marketed imitation, and to know where ordinary people can push.

Violence against women does not fall evenly, and some numbers in the United States are hard to hear. Friedman traces them back to a habit of mind that makes cruelty feel acceptable long before anyone acts.

A book series, a men’s magazine and a girl band were all framed as wins for women. Friedman asks who actually built them, who got rich, and what they left untouched.

A simple change of clothes changed how well women solved math problems. Friedman uses that finding to expose a hidden cost of media images, and then warns against a mistake many feminists make in response.

Dating coaches teach men to spend as little as possible to get sex. Friedman turns that bargain upside down with biology and research on what women actually want, and why so many still hold back.

The movement that now shapes reproductive law in the United States did not begin with abortion at all. Friedman follows it back to a 1976 campus rule and a cause its founders found harder to sell.

Most people who join the fight for women’s bodily rights focus on one issue. Friedman and activist Loretta Ross argue that this narrow focus misses most of what keeps women from real control.

Many schools teach algebra and history but say almost nothing useful about sex. Friedman compares the results with a country that does it differently, and names who teaches boys when schools stay silent.

Friedman’s book is finally an argument about connection. A church leader calling Native women savages, a magazine choosing only the girl next door, a pharmacist refusing emergency contraception and a health class that never mentions pleasure can look like separate stories. In her telling they are parts of one structure that keeps women from owning their bodies, their desire and their safety, while fake empowerment keeps that structure out of sight.

That changes what progress looks like. A best-selling novel or a pop group cannot do the work, and neither can a single legal battle. Real change, Friedman argues, means teaching boys early that sex is never owed, giving women full access to health care, changing how the media shows women and keeping religion out of public policy.

Some of it starts close to home. When something claims to empower women, ask who made it and who profits. Before judging a woman’s sexuality, look at context and intention. And when a young person asks about sex, answer honestly about consent and pleasure, before a screen answers for them.

The opposite of being screwed by the system, for Friedman, is not being left alone. It is getting to decide.

About this book

What is this book about?

Women in many societies can now be openly sexual in ways their grandmothers could not. Jaclyn Friedman argues that this visible freedom is often a decoy. She calls it fauxpowerment: the comfortable belief that women are already liberated, sold through novels, magazines and pop groups that are frequently built and profited from by men. Behind the decoy, Friedman describes a system that still decides who is believed after an assault, who can get emergency contraception and what boys learn about sex. She traces how it falls hardest on Native American, Black and transgender women, how the media turns women into objects, how pick-up artists treat sex as a bargain, and how a 1976 dispute over a university's tax status helped launch the Religious Right's campaign against abortion. Her answer is reproductive justice, a broad movement that links bodily choice to health care, money, policing and the courts, and better sex education that teaches consent and pleasure. Readers get a clear way to separate real power from its imitation, and practical places to push for change.

Book Information

Rating:

Genre:

Social Issues

Topics:

Gender, Media, Public Policy, Sex & Intimacy

Publisher:

Hachette

Language:

English

Narrator:

Ben

First published:

November 14, 2017

Pages:

288

Length:

15 min 43 sec

Get the book:

Amazon

Who it's for

  • Skeptical of girl-power marketing

    Readers who sense that girl-power marketing is not the same as equality and want words for why.

  • Parents and educators

    Parents and teachers wondering how to talk with young people about consent, pleasure and pornography.

  • New to feminism

    People new to feminism who want to see how media, religion, health care and schools connect.

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About the Author

Jaclyn Friedman

Jaclyn Friedman, born in 1971, is an American writer and activist who speaks on university campuses about feminism, sexual freedom and anti-rape work. She founded Women, Action & the Media and later served as its executive director, leading the #FBrape campaign that pushed Facebook to treat content promoting gender-based violence as hate speech. She also founded EducateUS to advance sex education in the US. With Jessica Valenti she co-edited Yes Means Yes and Believe Me, and she wrote What You Really Really Want.

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

3.6

Overall score based on 31 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find this work highly knowledgeable, with one listener pointing out its use of modern-day cases and actionable guidance. Furthermore, the prose is praised for its analysis of sexual culture, and listeners view the book as essential reading. They also value the treatment of violence against women, as one listener specifically mentions the powerful way this subject is addressed.

Top reviews

Sam

This book is a masterclass in intersectionality, especially regarding the interviews with sex workers and Native activists. Jaclyn Friedman goes way beyond the surface-level "sex is great" discourse to explore the political impact of our personal desires. Personally, I was struck by how she weaves together the stories of diverse people—queer folks, trans individuals, and women of color—to show how the system is designed to fail us. The writing style is biting and witty, making complex sociopolitical theories feel accessible. It’s easily one of the most well-informed books on sexual politics I’ve read in years. We need more writers who are willing to look this closely at the mess we're in.

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Thawee

Ever wonder why our collective understanding of sex feels so broken despite being in a "sex-positive" era? Friedman answers this by methodically dismantling the myths we’ve been told about empowerment and consent. I particularly appreciated the sections on healthy masculinity and the dire need for comprehensive sex education that moves past the "genitals and pregnancy" basics. Look, this isn't just a book for women; it’s a manual for anyone who wants to understand the intersection of power and intimacy. The practical advice tucked into the cultural critique makes it more than just a theory book—it’s a call to action. It is honest, brutal, and absolutely necessary for the world we live in today.

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Win

The chapter on how we address violence against women is one of the most powerful things I have read this year. Friedman doesn't pull any punches when she critiques the "sex-is-awesome" cheerleading that often ignores the safety and autonomy of marginalized groups. Frankly, her use of current examples makes the book feel incredibly timely, like she’s speaking directly to the anxieties of right now. I loved how she integrated the voices of people with disabilities and trans folks, even if I wanted a bit more depth in those specific areas. It’s a nuanced, brilliant piece of work that actually challenges the status quo. If you want to understand how sex and power truly intersect, read this immediately.

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Film

After hearing Jaclyn Friedman speak on a podcast, I knew I needed to read her latest, and it did not disappoint. She provides a rigorous cultural critique of how our sexualities are policed and commodified in ways we don't even realize. What sets this apart is the practical advice; it's not just complaining about the system, it's about "unscrewing" it through awareness and community. The writing is sharp, funny, and deeply empathetic toward anyone who has ever felt "wrong" for their desires. It’s a foundational text for anyone who wants to move beyond superficial feminism. She manages to be intellectual without being inaccessible, which is a rare feat in this genre. I'll be thinking about this for a long time.

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Frida

Wow, this was exactly the kind of radical feminism I needed to read this summer. Jaclyn is essentially a genius at connecting the dots between our most private moments and the massive institutional abuses we see in the headlines. The way she handles the topic of non-consensual sex is both sensitive and structurally focused, providing a much-needed lens for the #MeToo generation. While it's definitely written from a specific viewpoint, the themes are universal and essential for anyone breathing in this culture. It’s an anchor for hope in a pretty dark landscape, and I can't recommend it enough. Friedman has a way of making you see the world's injustices and then giving you the mental tools to start fighting back.

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Pong

As someone who has followed the #MeToo movement closely, I found Friedman’s breakdown of institutional power dynamics incredibly sharp. She doesn't just talk about sex; she dives into the structural rot that keeps us from achieving actual equality. The storytelling is engaging, though I did find some sections a bit long-winded when they could have been punchier. Truth is, her ability to dissect how we’re sold a version of empowerment that actually serves the male gaze is eye-opening. It's a necessary update to the feminist canon that addresses contemporary hurdles with intellectual rigor and a keen eye for absurdity. While it feels heavily academic at times, the core message remains accessible and deeply urgent for our current culture.

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Akira

Picked this up after a friend recommended it for its take on the #MeToo era, and I was genuinely impressed by the logical consistency throughout. Friedman takes on heavy topics like rape culture and non-consensual behavior without making the reader feel hopeless. As a male reader, I found her perspective crucial, though I think the implementation of her ideas will definitely require a collaborative effort across the gender spectrum. My only real gripe is that the middle section felt slightly exhausting because of the excruciating detail regarding media representation. Still, it’s a beacon for those wanting to fix our dysfunctional culture. Her ability to use current examples to prove her points is truly impressive and keeps the reader grounded.

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Niphon

Truth is, I’ve been looking for a book that tackles the absurdities of modern dating and power dynamics without falling into old clichés. Friedman manages to do this by highlighting how we’ve been fooled into a fake version of sex positivity that still centers the male perspective. The storytelling here is wonderful, especially when she highlights the work of activists on the ground. I would have loved even more focus on the intersection of disability and sexuality, but the breadth of voices she did include was fantastic. It's a solid, intellectual look at why we aren't as "liberated" as we think we are. A few sections felt repetitive, but the overall message is too important to ignore.

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Pakinee

Not what I expected given the bold title, as I was hoping for more concrete strategies on dismantling these systems rather than just a deep dive into the problems. For those who are already well-versed in feminist theory, a lot of the material about the male gaze and performative sex positivity might feel repetitive. To be fair, her critique of our current cultural dysfunction is incredibly thorough and well-documented. However, after the third chapter on how we're being fooled, I found myself skimming to find the actual "how-to" part. It’s an important read for beginners who are just starting to see the world differently, but it lacked the new insights I was craving.

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Sudarat

Finally got around to starting this, but I struggled to stay engaged because the tone felt a bit too academic for my current mood. I agree with the core premise that our Sex-Ed systems are a total failure—mine was basically just one awkward PowerPoint about "relations" and genitals—but the book's pacing is uneven. Not gonna lie, I stopped picking it up for two weeks because the repetitive focus on the "system" felt a bit like preaching to the choir for me. It’s clearly well-informed and an important read for many, but the execution didn't quite land for where I am in my personal journey. I wanted more guidance and fewer statistics.

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Questions about this book

Friedman argues that a male-dominated system still limits women’s control over their bodies, their sexuality and their safety, and that a fake sense of liberation hides it. She calls this fauxpowerment. Real change, in her view, requires fixing the whole system: how the media portrays women, access to health care, the role of religion in public policy and how schools teach sex and consent.

Fauxpowerment is Friedman’s term for the popular but false idea that modern women are already fully free. Her examples include Fifty Shades of Grey, whose heroine is still manipulated by a rich man, Hugh Hefner’s Playboy, which showed only one narrow type of woman, and the Spice Girls, a band designed by a male manager to charm girls without challenging men. Often, she notes, men profit from it.

Reproductive justice is a movement whose name was co-coined by activist Loretta Ross. It starts with the right to decide what happens to your own body but goes further, covering access to health care, the economic conditions women live in, how police respond to sexual assault, how quickly courts act against predators, and ending the constant sexualization of women. Friedman urges supporters not to reduce it to abortion alone.

Friedman’s ideas suggest a few habits. When a product or brand claims to empower women, ask who made it and who profits. Judge sexual images by context and intention rather than reflex. Treat women’s pleasure as a goal in its own right. And make sure young people learn about consent and pleasure from honest adults, since Friedman warns that otherwise pornography becomes their teacher.

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