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14 min 12 sec
Available in:English

Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love

Shows how prices, risk, scarcity and income shape decisions about sex, dating, marriage and divorce, from why campus gender ratios matter to what dating sites get wrong and why unequal countries see more broken marriages.

Table of Content

Most people treat love as the one corner of life that money and math cannot touch, then wonder why their dating apps, sex lives and marriages behave so predictably. In Dollars and Sex, economist Marina Adshade argues that supply, demand, prices and risk shape romance far more than we admit. She starts with a sentence nobody wants to hear from a partner: that they chose you because you were the best match available right now. Cold as it sounds, Adshade says this is how the market for love works.

Her throughline is simple. Our choices about sex, marriage and divorce make sense once you see them as responses to costs, scarcity and income. Follow that logic through contraception, college campuses, dating sites, marriage, polygamy and divorce. The puzzles of modern love then start to look like problems you can reason about, and sometimes even fix.

Your grandparents probably held stricter views about sex than you do, and the usual explanation blames changing morals. An economist points to something far more ordinary sitting in women’s bank accounts and pay slips.

Better birth control should have meant fewer surprise pregnancies, yet births outside marriage went up. A few lines of arithmetic about a woman in 1925 explain the contradiction, and the same math works on everyday decisions.

Two college campuses, two very different chances that a young woman graduates a virgin. The gap has nothing to do with the students’ values and everything to do with a number most applicants never check.

Dating sites offer thousands of possible partners, and still many members end up disappointed. An economist explains why the boxes you tick may be hiding the very person you are looking for.

Few couples would describe their wedding as a business deal. Yet looking at a household the way a manager looks at a company explains why people marry, and why married people report a surprising advantage.

In some societies a woman may be better off as one of several wives. That logic once seemed unshakable, until a change in how families earned a living handed women a new kind of bargaining power.

A degree seems to protect couples from divorce, and the reason is not better taste in partners. Picture a street of identical houses where one family suddenly gets rich, and watch what happens next door.

Dollars and Sex adds up to an uncomfortable compliment for economics. The cold line Adshade opens with, about settling for the best partner available, turns out to describe forces acting on all of us. They include the price of risk, the ratio of men to women in a room, the width of a search filter, the skills two people bring to a home and the gap between one household’s income and the next. Seeing those forces does not make love less real. It makes its patterns readable.

That reading points to a few things worth doing. When your love life or a friend’s seems puzzling, look at what has become cheaper or costlier, and at who is scarce. On a dating site, cut the filters that count inches and dollars and leave room for humor and how a person feels to be with. At home, divide the work by who does each job best. And when the house next door gets grander, treat the urge to borrow and keep up as a danger to your marriage, because on Adshade’s evidence money stress is one of the surest ways couples come apart.

Romance keeps its mysteries. Its bargains are easier to see once someone does the math.

About this book

What is this book about?

Most people believe love sits outside the cold logic of money. Economist Marina Adshade disagrees. In Dollars and Sex she argues that supply and demand, risk and income shape who we sleep with, who we marry and whether the marriage lasts. That holds even when we would rather not look. Adshade applies basic economic tools to the most personal parts of life. She prices the risk of sex before marriage in 1925 and shows why better contraception led to more pregnancies. She also explains why women's sexual behavior shifts when men are scarce on campus and how dating sites shrink their own markets with rigid filters. Further chapters treat marriage as a household firm, trace how education pushed aside polygamy and connect national inequality to divorce rates. Readers get a new lens for puzzles in their own love lives and a few practical moves: widening a dating search, dividing household work by skill, and resisting the debt that comes from keeping up with richer neighbors.

Book Information

Rating:

Genre:

Economics, Sex & Relationships

Topics:

Dating, Gender, Marriage

Publisher:

Chronicle Books

Language:

English

Narrator:

Ethan

First published:

March 19, 2013

Pages:

272

Length:

14 min 12 sec

Get the book:

Amazon

Who it's for

  • Singles frustrated by apps

    Singles frustrated with dating apps who want to understand why good matches slip through.

  • Couples splitting housework

    Couples weighing how to split household work and how to handle pressure to spend like richer friends.

  • Students and the curious

    Students and curious readers who want economics explained through the most personal decisions people make.

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About the Author

Marina Adshade

Marina Adshade is an economist who earned her doctorate at Queen's University and teaches economics at the University of British Columbia. In 2008 she launched an undergraduate course called Economics of Sex and Love, which drew international media attention. Her Dollars and Sex series began on the website Big Think before moving to her own homepage. She writes regularly for the Globe and Mail and Canadian Business Magazine, has appeared on CTV and CBC, and has contributed to Time and the Wall Street Journal.

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

4.1

Overall score based on 63 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find the work thought-provoking, especially valuing the economic principles and the way it clarifies human actions. They describe it as an amusing and lighthearted experience, while one listener notes how it leads the audience through different situations. Opinions on the writing quality are varied, as several listeners voiced disappointment regarding the book's editing.

Top reviews

Gor

Finally got around to reading this after hearing it called the "Freakonomics of sex," and it definitely lives up to that reputation. Adshade does a brilliant job applying cold, hard economic principles to the messy world of human relationships. I was particularly fascinated by the section on thick dating markets and how the internet has essentially revolutionized how we find partners. The writing is sharp and clinical, which might put some people off, but for an econ nerd like me, it was refreshing to see attraction treated as a series of market incentives. While some of the research feels a bit dense, the insights into why we choose the people we do are genuinely eye-opening. It's a must-read for anyone who likes their romance with a side of data and a dash of realism.

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On

This book is an absolute riot if you have a slightly dry sense of humor. Adshade takes topics that are usually shrouded in mystery or emotion and breaks them down into supply and demand curves. I couldn't stop laughing at the "news you can't use" section regarding anatomical parts and national happiness, mostly because it highlights how absurdly we can apply data to the human condition. Beyond the laughs, there is a lot of legitimate insight here about the mechanics of marriage and why people cheat from a resource-allocation perspective. It’s a very quick read that manages to be both educational and entertaining without ever feeling like a boring textbook. Highly recommended for fans of Malcolm Gladwell who want something a bit more provocative.

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Prim

Picked this up for a college writing assignment and ended up finishing it in two sittings because I was so genuinely intrigued by the data. I never thought about the fact that a man of a different race would need to earn a specific salary increase to be considered "equal" to a white man in online dating markets. It’s a cynical way to look at the world, but the statistics Adshade provides are incredibly robust and hard to argue with. The book manages to balance these heavy data points with a lighthearted tone and plenty of humor. It’s definitely geared toward a 20-something audience who is just starting to navigate the complexities of adult relationships and financial independence.

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Thanakorn

Ever wonder why college hookup culture is so prevalent or why the price of beer seems to dictate who ends up in whose bed? Adshade explores these questions using microeconomic principles, and the results are quite startling. The chapter on the "price" of sex in a campus setting was a real standout for me, especially as someone who graduated recently and saw these dynamics firsthand. My only real gripe is with the formatting of the book itself. The publishers decided to stick these little sidebar boxes right in the middle of paragraphs, which makes it nearly impossible to keep your train of thought. You have to finish the page and then go back, which is a bit of a chore, but the content is worth the effort.

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Book

As a sociology major, I found the chapter on interracial marriage and the "opportunity cost" of different races to be the most compelling part of the entire book. It’s uncomfortable to talk about love in such transactional terms, but the data Adshade presents is hard to ignore. She looks at how online dating has changed the "price" people are willing to pay for a partner outside their own background. To be fair, the book can feel a bit sterile at times because she’s talking about sex as a commodity rather than a physical act. If you’re looking for spicy details, you’re going to be disappointed, but if you want to understand the "why" behind major societal shifts, it’s a great addition to your shelf.

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Art

Wow, this really changed my perspective on how much of our "romantic" behavior is actually just us responding to economic incentives. Adshade explains complex theories like game theory and market equilibrium using examples like swingers' clubs and polyandry. I appreciate that she pokes fun at her own single status throughout the book, which keeps the tone from feeling too preachy or academic. The truth is, most of us aren't aware that our dating decisions are influenced by things like the gender ratio in our city or our specific education level. I did find some sections, like the one on anatomical size, to be a bit filler-heavy, but the rest of the content is solid enough to make up for the occasional fluff.

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Dimitri

After hearing a podcast interview with the author, I decided to pick this up to see if the "dismal science" could really explain my dating life. It turns out that a lot of what we think of as personal preference is actually just market competition. I found the discussion on how internet dating creates "thick markets" especially relevant, as it explains why it feels easier but also more overwhelming to find a match these days. The book is well-written and flows nicely, despite the annoying sidebars that disrupt the text every few pages. It's a fun way to brush up on economic concepts without having to look at a single graph or spreadsheet. Definitely worth a look for the curious.

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Varinee

The section on polyandry felt like it was included just to say the author covered everything, regardless of how relevant it actually is to the average reader. Look, I enjoy a good research-heavy book, but Adshade sometimes spends way too many pages citing study after study without getting to the point quickly enough. It becomes tedious when you’re reading "this researcher found X and that one found Y" for three pages straight. I was hoping for more "Aha!" moments like the ones found in Gladwell’s books, but many of the revelations here were things I’d already suspected. It’s an interesting read for a plane ride, but it could have benefited from a much more aggressive editor to trim the unnecessary fat.

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Hana

This book should have been titled "Marriage and Money" because that's what a huge chunk of the content actually focuses on. Marina Adshade writes from a very detached, clinical perspective, which makes sense given her background as an economist. However, this often works against her when she discusses experiences she admits she hasn't had, like being married or raising a family. Some of the advice for young women—like avoiding colleges with high female-to-male ratios—seems practical, but other parts feel like she's reaching to find an economic link where there isn't one. It’s a decent enough read if you’re bored, but don’t expect any life-changing revelations about your bedroom habits or deep emotional connections.

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Saengdao

Not what I expected at all, and frankly, I found the whole thing a bit of a slog to get through. The title "Dollars and Sex" is clearly just clickbait to get people to buy a dry book about the economics of domestic partnerships and marriage. I was hoping for some interesting psychological insights, but instead, I got pages of data on polyandry and swinger club pricing models. The editorial work is also quite poor; the way the sidebars are placed mid-sentence is incredibly distracting. Unless you are a hardcore fan of economic theory, you’ll probably find yourself skimming most of the chapters to find something that actually applies to real life. It just didn't live up to the hype for me.

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Questions about this book

Adshade argues that economic forces shape love and sex far more than we admit. Supply and demand, risk, income and education help explain why people became more sexually active as contraception and women’s earnings improved. They also explain why gender ratios on campus change behavior, why marriage exists and why inequality pushes up divorce. Seen through economics, she says, dating, marriage and divorce become much less mysterious.

Adshade explains it with expected cost. In 1925 an unmarried woman faced an 85 percent chance of pregnancy from unprotected sex, so with a $45,000 lifetime income the expected cost was $38,250. Condoms would cut the chance to 45 percent and the cost to $20,250. Cheaper risk led more people to have sex, and since contraception is never fully effective, total pregnancies went up.

Adshade argues that dating sites create a thin market. Filters such as age, height and income shrink the pool so much that well-suited people never meet. She suggests sites put less weight on numbers and more on experiential qualities like a sense of humor. Her test for users is to picture someone they love and ask whether that person would have passed their strictest search settings.

Adshade links divorce to financial stress and status anxiety. When one family on a street gets rich, neighbors often borrow to keep up, fall into debt and come under strain that breaks marriages. She cites research by Adam Levine, Robert Frank and Oege Dijk estimating that each one percent rise in a country’s inequality lifts its divorce rate by 1.2 percent.

It suits readers curious about why love and sex follow patterns, from singles puzzled by dating apps to couples thinking about money and household work. Students who want economics made concrete will find supply, demand and risk applied to campus life, marriage and divorce. Anyone who has felt pressure to spend like wealthier neighbors will recognize Adshade’s warning about debt and status anxiety.

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Dollars and Sex

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