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13 min 27 sec
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Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

Shows how to build good habits and drop bad ones by first learning how you respond to expectations, then shaping effort, temptation and enjoyment so the right choice becomes the easy one.

Table of Content

Most people already know which habits they want to keep and which they want to lose. What trips them up is using a method built for someone else. In Better Than Before, Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, argues that self-knowledge comes first. Whether you rise to meet a calendar entry or rebel against it decides which strategies will work for you.

From there, Rubin gathers a set of small, practical levers. Some remove daily decisions. Some change how easy or tempting a behavior feels. Others replace the usual reward system with something gentler. Her throughline is simple: lasting habits come from designing your days around your own nature.

The evidence includes a Swedish subway staircase that played music, an ice cream cooler with its lid left open and a millionaire who locked her chocolate in a safe. You will finish knowing which of four types you are, and with a handful of moves to try before the week is out.

The same gym schedule that keeps one person on track makes another person dig in their heels. Rubin traces the difference to a single trait, and spotting yours changes which advice is worth following.

A long restaurant menu can leave anyone stuck, and that small paralysis explains why so many workouts never happen. Rubin’s fix takes one sitting, plus a habit of looking honestly at your own numbers.

People who changed their diets successfully shared a surprising circumstance, and it had nothing to do with discipline. Rubin explains why some seasons of life make change far cheaper than others.

Lifting a freezer lid sounds like no effort at all, yet it cut ice cream sales by more than half. Small frictions steer daily behavior, and they can be turned in your favor.

People hunt for excuses to skip even the routines they enjoy. Rubin names the most common escape route, and an ancient sea story shows the oldest defense against it.

A craving fades faster than most people expect, provided you pick the right kind of distraction. And the prize you promise yourself for good behavior may be working against you.

An audiobook can get a reluctant runner out the door, and a coffee machine can remember your pills for you. Rubin also explains the small difference between a treat and a reward.

Rubin’s book adds up to a kinder picture of self-control. Willpower stops being the main event. The work moves earlier, to knowing how you respond to expectations, then arranging your days so the right choice costs little and the wrong one costs a bit more. An Upholder and a Rebel can want the same habit and need almost opposite plans to reach it.

Two of her practical suggestions are worth starting tonight. Write a short list of if-then plans, each naming a situation and the action that follows, such as: if I finish work early, I will go running. A plan like that spares you the hasty choices that so often go badly. Then prepare for the new habit in advance. If the plan is a morning run, lay out your running clothes before bed, so the first step is done before you are fully awake.

After that, watch for the moments when change comes cheaply: a move, a new job, a quiet house after the children leave. And when a craving hits, give it fifteen minutes and a cartoon.

Anne Bass never had to win an argument with her chocolate. She locked it in the safe.

About this book

What is this book about?

Most people know which habits they want. They want to sleep more, eat less sugar and stop putting things off. What defeats them is borrowing a method that suits someone else. Gretchen Rubin argues that lasting change starts with self-knowledge. She sorts people into four types, Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels, by how they handle expectations from others and from themselves. From there she offers a set of practical levers that fit different personalities. You can schedule a habit once so it never needs a daily decision. You can track what you really eat and how far you really walk. Moves, new jobs and other fresh starts are good moments to begin. Small changes in convenience shift behavior, and you can close the loopholes that excuses slip through. Rubin also challenges the common belief that rewards help habits form. The evidence includes a Swedish staircase that played music, an ice cream cooler with an open lid, children with Magic Markers and a millionaire who kept chocolate in her safe. Readers get a way to diagnose why past attempts failed and a toolkit to match to their own nature.

Book Information

Rating:

Genre:

Personal Development

Topics:

Habits, Self-Awareness, Self-Control

Publisher:

Penguin Random House

Language:

English, ไทย

Narrator:

Julia

First published:

March 17, 2015

Pages:

320

Length:

13 min 27 sec

Get the book:

Amazon

Who it's for

  • Resolutions keep fading

    People whose resolutions fade because the advice they followed never suited their personality.

  • Office workers wanting change

    Office workers trying to eat better, move more and procrastinate less without relying on willpower.

  • Managers and coaches

    Managers and coaches who want to understand why the same habit plan works for one person and fails for another.

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About the Author

Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin began her career in law and realized she wanted to write while clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Several of her books, including The Happiness Project, Better Than Before and The Four Tendencies, have been New York Times bestsellers, and The Happiness Project reached number one. Her books have sold millions of copies in more than thirty languages. She hosts the podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin with her sister, Elizabeth Craft.

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

4.1

Overall score based on 322 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find the work exceptionally accessible and captivating, offering tangible strategy recommendations and functional tips for building new routines. Furthermore, the book delivers deep perspectives on behavior by considering listeners' personalities, and they value its ability to inspire and encourage self-compassion. The prose also earns praise, as one listener points out it is written with clarity to convey a significant subject.

Top reviews

Oksana

The chapter on the Four Tendencies was an absolute game-changer for my productivity levels this year. I’ve always struggled with internal goals while excelling at work deadlines, and realizing I’m an 'Obliger' helped me finally understand why I need external accountability. Rubin’s writing is exceptionally clear, breaking down complex psychological hurdles into manageable, concrete strategies that feel actually doable. Truth is, her advice about 'foundational habits' like sleep and uncluttering really helped me find a sense of kindness toward my own messy process. I appreciate how she emphasizes that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, instead encouraging us to look at our own personality types before diving into change. It’s a highly readable guide that moves beyond the typical fluff you find in the self-help aisle. Since finishing it, I’ve already implemented the 'two-minute rule' for small tasks and seen an immediate payoff in my daily stress levels.

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Arjun

Picking this up felt like finally getting the owner's manual for my own brain. Gretchen Rubin’s approach to habits is remarkably nuanced, moving away from the standard 'one size fits all' advice to focus on how different personalities respond to expectations. I’m a total 'Questioner,' so her explanation of why I need to understand the 'why' before I commit to a task was a revelation. The book is packed with concrete advice on how to structure your daily life to avoid decision fatigue and conserve self-control. It’s written in a way that feels like a conversation with an extremely organized friend who genuinely wants you to succeed. I especially appreciated the sections on 'clarity' and how identifying as a certain type of person can make habit formation almost automatic. This is easily one of the most useful books on behavior change I’ve ever read, and I’ve already seen improvement in my morning routine.

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Kob

Wow, this was exactly the kick in the pants I needed to finally tackle my cluttered office and poor sleep habits. Rubin has a way of communicating complex behavior changes through the lens of 'invisible architecture' that makes the whole process feel less daunting. I particularly loved the section on loopholes—realizing how often I use 'moral license' to justify skipping the gym was a huge wake-up call. The book is incredibly engaging and provides a thorough toolkit for anyone who feels stuck in a rut. Truth be told, I found her honesty about her own 'Upholder' rigidness quite refreshing and even funny at times. It’s rare to find a self-help book that actually encourages you to be kinder to yourself by simply understanding how your brain is wired. This is definitely a resource I’ll be returning to every time I feel my routine starting to slip. Highly recommended for anyone ready to make some lasting, practical changes.

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Varinee

After hearing Rubin on several podcasts, I decided to dive into her framework for change, and I'm so glad I did. Her insight into the difference between 'Abstainers' and 'Moderators' was incredibly liberating for me personally. For years, I felt like a failure because I couldn't just have one cookie, but now I realize my brain just works better with total 'abstinence' from certain triggers. The book is packed with practical suggestions that take into account our individual quirks rather than demanding we all follow a single, rigid path. Not gonna lie, some of the personal family stories feel a bit repetitive after a while, but the core strategies are solid enough to overlook that. It’s an engaging read that provides a thorough roadmap for anyone looking to redesign their daily architecture. I’ve already recommended this to three friends who are struggling with their fitness routines. It’s less about willpower and more about smart self-knowledge.

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Scarlett

Reading this made me realize that my previous failures with New Year's resolutions weren't about a lack of willpower, but a lack of self-knowledge. Rubin provides a thorough exploration of how our individual temperaments dictate our success with new routines. I found her distinction between 'Upholders' and 'Rebels' particularly enlightening for my own family dynamics. The book is filled with practical suggestions, like the strategy of 'pairing' or using 'if-then' plans to safeguard our progress. In my experience, the writing style is very engaging and keeps you moving through the concepts quickly. My only minor gripe is that she can occasionally sound a bit like the 'know-it-all' girl in class that she admits to being. However, if you can look past the perky tone, the underlying architecture for habit change is incredibly solid and easy to apply to a busy life.

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Prayoon

Gotta say, the distinction between 'Abstainers' and 'Moderators' was a total lightbulb moment for me. I’ve always tried to eat just one square of chocolate and failed, but Rubin’s insight that some of us find it easier to have none at all was so liberating. The book provides a very systematic way to look at your daily choices through what she calls the 'invisible architecture' of habits. While the anecdotes about her sister Elizabeth in LA can get a bit repetitive, the actual strategies for habit-building are top-notch. It’s a very readable and engaging guide that doesn't just tell you what to do, but helps you find your own best way to do it. Some of her personal preferences are definitely a bit odd, like her hatred of travel or trying new foods, but you can easily ignore that and still get a lot of value from the framework. It’s a great tool for anyone looking to declutter their life or get back into an exercise routine.

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Chanpen

Ever wonder why some people just can't stick to a schedule no matter how hard they try? This book answers that question by diving deep into the psychology of how we respond to both inner and outer expectations. Rubin's writing is clear and communicates important topics without being overly academic or dry. I found the 'Foundational Habits' section—focusing on sleep, movement, and eating—to be a very grounded place to start. Although she occasionally comes off as a bit rigid in her own lifestyle, the book actually encourages self-compassion by showing that we aren't 'lazy,' we just haven't found the right strategy yet. The focus on 'loopholes' was particularly funny and relatable; I definitely recognized my own magical thinking in her list of excuses. It’s a solid 4-star read that offers a lot of practical value for anyone willing to do a bit of self-reflection. I've already started using her 'if-then' tips for my workday.

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Luckana

This book is a bit of a mixed bag for me, mostly because I struggle with some chronic medical issues that make 'just doing it' impossible. I can certainly see how her advice on accountability would work wonders for a healthy person with a standard routine. The Four Tendencies framework is quite clever, and I definitely saw myself in the 'Questioner' category immediately. However, the narrative felt overly focused on her own family life and her sister’s career, which eventually became a bit of a slog to get through. Personally, I would have preferred a more concise, tool-based guide rather than so many personal anecdotes about her life in New York. It's a light, easy read, but it lacks the scientific depth found in something like 'The Power of Habit' by Charles Duhigg. If you’re a fan of her blog, you’ll probably love it, but others might find her personality a little tiresome after two hundred pages.

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Elias

Not what I expected after hearing so much hype surrounding Rubin’s previous work on happiness. The first few chapters were promising, but the book quickly devolved into a sanctimonious lecture on why we should all adopt her specific, low-carb lifestyle. To be fair, some of the personality assessments are interesting, but her rigid views on diet—like suggesting fruit is essentially evil while diet soda is fine—felt totally unscientific and distracting. She comes across as incredibly narrow-minded, often dismissing any habit that doesn't align with her own fussy preferences. I wanted a research-based guide on the mechanics of habit formation, but instead, I got a memoir about her sister Elizabeth and their constant phone calls. It’s tiresome to read advice from someone who admits to being a 'know-it-all' and seems proud of her own rigidity. Unless you want to live exactly like Gretchen Rubin, you might find this more irritating than inspiring.

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Ern

Look, I really wanted to find something useful here, but Rubin’s level of material privilege makes her advice feel completely untethered from reality. She spends an exhausting amount of time talking about her sister’s Hollywood career or her own ability to just 'decide' to be perfect. Frankly, it’s hard to take habit-building tips from someone who seems to live in a bubble where the biggest challenge is whether to buy a treadmill desk. The tone is often patronizing, bordering on a sanctimonious lecture about how her specific, rigid way of living is the only correct path. While the Four Tendencies framework has some merit, it gets buried under layers of self-righteous anecdotes that made me want to toss the book across the room. If you aren't a wealthy perfectionist with an army of supporters, most of this will feel like a banal exercise in vanity.

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Questions about this book

Rubin argues that good habits come from designing your life around your own nature. She starts with self-knowledge, sorting people into Upholders, Questioners, Obligers and Rebels by how they respond to expectations. Then she offers tools such as scheduling a habit once, tracking behavior, using fresh starts, adjusting convenience, closing loopholes and replacing rewards with pairing and treats.

Upholders meet expectations from themselves and others easily but drift without clear rules. Questioners comply only when something makes sense to them, so data helps them. Obligers meet outside expectations but struggle with their own, so a workout partner helps. Rebels resist all expectations and do best when they choose freely, without a calendar telling them what to do.

Rubin argues that acting for a reward can become addictive, and when the reward stops, so does the reason to continue. She cites a study in which children rewarded for using Magic Markers were less likely to keep coloring afterward than children who were not rewarded. She suggests pairing activities and giving yourself unearned treats instead.

Start by identifying your tendency. Then schedule the habit in advance so you never decide daily, and lay out what you need the night before, such as running clothes. Write if-then plans, for example going running if you finish work early. Make the habit convenient or fun, like the Swedish musical staircase that drew 66 percent more people to the stairs.

Rubin recommends making bad habits slightly inconvenient, since small obstacles change behavior. Ice cream sales in one café fell from 30 to 14 percent when customers had to open the cooler lid themselves. She also advises keeping temptation out of sight, watching for excuses such as feeling you earned a treat after a workout, and distracting yourself, since cravings weaken within about 15 minutes.

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