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11 min 53 sec
Available in:English

Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier

A collection of short, practical rules for everyday life: how to make people feel seen, keep a family steady, stay safe in an emergency, travel well and find work where you have no rivals.

Table of Content

Most people collect life lessons the slow way, by making the mistake first. Kevin Kelly, the founding executive editor of Wired, tried to spare his children that cost: at 68 he began writing down the short pieces of advice he wished someone had handed him decades earlier. Excellent Advice for Living is the result, a list that started as a private gift for his young adult kids and kept growing.

Kelly claims none of it as his own invention. Some lines are familiar, gathered from many sources over a long life. What he offers is a selection, the advice he believes truly leads to a better life. The thread running through it is simple: the hardest parts of living, from other people to family, danger and work, get easier when you carry a few small, specific rules and shape them to your own situation.

Kelly compares each line to an acorn that holds an oak. The ones worth planting first show how to make a stranger feel seen, why children want limits, what to check in every new room, and how to find work where nobody competes with you.

Few gifts are as valuable or as inexpensive as helping another person feel seen and heard. Kelly’s rules for meeting, talking and declining show how small courtesies help others feel seen and make your own life lighter.

Kelly’s most useful parenting advice starts nowhere near the children. It touches marriage, family rules, dinner and a surprising formula for time versus money that most parents get the wrong way round.

In a true emergency, most people reach first for food and water. Kelly explains why that instinct can be deadly, and which few seconds of attention in any new building could matter most.

Choosing a holiday by a country’s fame is the habit Kelly wants you to drop. His alternatives cost less, surprise more, and include one trip you can take without leaving town.

Competing to be the best in a crowded field is how many careers stall. Kelly points to an odder target, and suggests the clue to finding it may be something you were scolded for as a child.

Kelly’s advice works like a pocket full of small tools rather than a single system. None of it asks for a new personality. It asks you to remember a name, protect a dinner, notice an exit, pack a sweater and show up on a bad day. What the book adds up to is a modest but useful claim: much of a good life is decided in brief moments that arrive without warning, and a rule you already carry beats fresh thinking when they come.

Kelly also insists that you choose. Keep the lines that feel true right now, set the rest aside without guilt, and stretch each one to fit your own circumstances, the way an acorn carries a whole oak inside it.

The cheapest rules make the best start. Say back the name of the next person you meet, and turn down the next invitation you would probably cancel anyway. If you have children, guard one shared, phone-free meal each week. And treat your own childhood quirks as a map toward work that nobody else is doing.

Little of this is new, and Kelly never pretends otherwise. Its worth lies in having it ready before the moment you need it.

About this book

What is this book about?

Most life lessons arrive late, after the mistake has already been made. At 68, Kevin Kelly began writing down the brief pieces of advice he wished he had heard decades earlier, as a gift for his young adult children. The list kept growing until it became a book of its own. Kelly claims none of it as original. Many lines are familiar, gathered from countless sources over a long and varied life. What he contributes is the selection: the advice he believes actually leads somewhere better. He also refuses to prescribe. Each line, he says, is like an acorn that holds an oak, and readers are invited to grow the ones that fit their lives and leave the rest. The rules cover five areas. They show how to make strangers feel remembered and say no without damage, how rules and rituals give children security, which survival priorities most people get backward, how to choose trips by interest rather than reputation, and why being the only one doing something beats competing to be the best. Readers get small, specific habits they can try within days.

Book Information

Rating:

Genre:

Personal Development

Topics:

Personal Philosophy, Social Skills, Travel

Publisher:

Penguin Random House

Language:

English

Narrator:

Cole

First published:

May 2, 2023

Pages:

224

Length:

11 min 53 sec

Get the book:

Amazon

Who it's for

  • Early in their careers

    Young professionals who want practical rules for people, work and risk without reading a shelf of books.

  • Parents

    Parents looking for simple habits that make home feel steadier.

  • Hoping to stand apart

    Anyone stuck competing in a crowded field who wants a way to stand apart.

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About the Author

Kevin Kelly

Kevin Kelly, born in 1952, is a writer, photographer and conservationist. He was the founding executive editor of Wired and earlier published and edited the Whole Earth Review from 1984 to 1990. He co-founded the Hackers' Conference, helped launch the online service the WELL in 1985, and is a founding editor of Cool Tools, which has reviewed tools daily since 2003. His books include Out of Control, What Technology Wants and The Inevitable, a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller.

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

4.1

Overall score based on 696 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find this book brimming with profound wisdom that's meant to be revisited repeatedly for its life lessons rather than read just once. It also makes for a wonderful gift for any person and offers useful topics for starting a conversation. The overall pacing is appreciated, with one listener remarking on how the text inspires them to live excellently. However, viewpoints regarding the value for money are inconsistent.

Top reviews

Jackson

This little volume is a masterclass in brevity, proving that you don’t need five hundred pages to change someone's perspective. Kevin Kelly has distilled a lifetime of global experience into bite-sized modern proverbs that demand reflection. I particularly loved the advice on hiring for aptitude over skills; it’s a perspective that more leaders need to embrace in our rapidly shifting economy. Every page offers a new conversation starter, making it the perfect coffee table addition for guests to flip through. To be fair, you can’t rush through this. If you read it all at once, the impact of the individual axioms gets lost in the sheer volume of information. It is meant to be savored slowly over weeks or even months. Highly recommended for anyone looking to live excellently.

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Saowalak

Ever wonder what a lifetime of wisdom looks like when you strip away the filler? This book is the answer. It’s a collection of sharp, punchy axioms that feel both nostalgic for the Steve Jobs era and perfectly suited for our current distracted age. I’ve found it to be a fantastic conversation starter when friends come over, as almost every page sparks a debate. Whether he's talking about how trust is earned in drops or why you should hire for attitude, Kelly’s voice is clear and devoid of pretension. It makes for an incredible gift, especially for someone starting a new chapter in life. While some tips are admittedly common sense, seeing them written so concisely gives them a new kind of power. This is a manual for anyone who wants to live excellently without the fluff.

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Pridi

Picked this up to gift to my nephew but ended up keeping it for myself. It’s rare to find a book that offers such practical guidance on everything from business ethics to personal health without sounding like a dry textbook. The wisdom here is straightforward and easy to grasp, which is exactly what makes it so hard to actually follow! I particularly appreciated the section on productivity and setting priorities. Kelly reminds us that a goal without a schedule is just a dream, a sentiment I’ve started applying to my own creative projects. Not gonna lie, some of these one-liners have already changed the way I handle my morning routine. This is the kind of book that pays for itself if you actually apply even 5% of what’s inside.

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Wachira

Frankly, it’s refreshing to read a self-help book that doesn't feel like it's trying to sell me a 10-step program. This is just pure, unadulterated wisdom from a guy who has seen the world change from the early Wired days to the AI revolution. I love how he emphasizes curiosity and lifelong learning over just 'grinding' for the sake of it. It’s an excellent gift for a recent graduate, though to be fair, it’s probably more useful for someone in their 40s who needs a reminder to stay humble. The advice on how to apologize—quickly and without excuses—is something everyone should memorize. It makes living a bit easier and much more graceful. A truly wonderful collection of thoughts.

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Anong

Truth is, I’ve started reading just one page every morning with my coffee, and it has genuinely shifted my daily outlook. Kevin Kelly has this uncanny ability to make you stop and think about your own habits without being pretentious or preachy. The line about how trust is earned in drops but lost in buckets has stayed with me for weeks. It’s the kind of book you keep on your nightstand to reread whenever you feel like you're losing your way. It might look like a simple collection of quotes, but the weight of the experience behind them is palpable. If you want a guide on how to be a better human being and a more curious learner, this is it.

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Hunter

After following Kevin Kelly’s blog for years, I knew I needed a physical copy of these life lessons. The pacing is wonderful because you can consume as much or as little as you want in one sitting. Some of the advice regarding relationships, like the bit about forgiveness being an apology you’ll never get, hit me right in the gut. However, I’m docking one star because the lack of any real organization or index makes it difficult to find that one specific quote you remember reading three days ago. It feels a bit like a random brain dump at times. Still, the quality of the insights is high enough that I plan on rereading this annually. It’s a solid investment for your personal library.

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Leo

Kelly’s 'modern proverbs' are the kind of insights that you want to stick on your fridge or email to your younger self. I found the section on relationships particularly moving, especially the bit about how listening carefully makes you a great conversationalist even if you say nothing. It’s a very quick read, but the pacing is entirely up to the reader. You could blast through it in an hour, but you’d be doing yourself a disservice. My only minor gripe is the layout, which feels a bit sparse for the cost of a hardcover release. However, the quality of the guidance regarding choosing partners and hiring for attitude makes it worth the investment for me. It’s a refreshing take on the self-help genre.

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Suwit

In my experience, most 'wisdom' books are just 300 pages of fluff surrounding one good idea that could have been a tweet. Kelly flips that script by giving us nothing but the good ideas, one after another, in a way that feels incredibly modern and accessible. I appreciated the lack of jargon; it felt like getting advice from a very smart, very chill uncle. Some might say it’s repetitive, but I think the repetition serves to drive home the core principles of integrity and kindness. It’s the ultimate conversation starter if you leave it out on a table. My only complaint is that I wish there were more sections on the 'why' behind some of the more controversial axioms. Definitely worth a read.

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Rodrigo

Look, the actual content is undeniably wise, but I can't ignore the lack of attribution for many of these 'original' thoughts. It feels a bit disingenuous to present concepts like Maslow’s Law or common cultural idioms without acknowledging where they originated. While the book is a great conversation starter and would make a decent gift, the price point feels steep for a collection of one-liners you can find on his blog. I appreciate the sentiment of 'living excellently,' yet the lack of organization makes it hard to find specific advice when you actually need it. It’s a nice-to-have addition for fans of the Recomendo newsletter, but it's not the revolutionary Bible of wisdom some reviews claim it to be. A bit of a mixed bag.

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Tawee

Wow, I am actually stunned by how little effort went into the organization of this book. While some of the axioms are undeniably clever, the lack of an index or even a basic thematic grouping makes it feel like a random Twitter feed printed on paper. For $26, you expect more than just one or two sentences floating in a sea of white space on every page. Personally, I found it to be a bit of a money-grab because most of this is available for free online. Some of the advice is so simplistic it borders on condescending, like telling a grown adult that promptness is a sign of respect. It’s a shame because a few nuggets are gold, but they’re buried in a disorganized mess of common knowledge.

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Questions about this book

It is a collection of short pieces of life advice that Kelly began gathering at 68 as a gift for his young adult children. He makes no claim that the lines are original. Instead he offers the ones he believes lead to a better life, covering relationships, parenting, travel, safety and success, and he invites readers to adapt the ones that fit and skip the rest.

Kelly argues that success comes from being the only one doing something, not the best at a crowded thing. He suggests looking at what made you unusual as a child as a clue, then exploring overlooked corners of that area. He also stresses steady effort: showing up on bad days counts for more than rare bursts of brilliance, and progress should be measured by distance already covered.

Kelly recommends putting your relationship with your partner first, since children copy the respect they see. He says kids want clear family rules and benefit from regular rituals such as device-free dinners. He suggests doubling the time you spend with children while halving the money, and when a child asks what to do, asking what they want first.

Kelly gives two. To attract attention in an emergency, signal in threes: three shouts, whistles or horn blasts. For priorities, remember that a person can survive about three weeks without food and three days without water, but only around three hours without shelter from heat or cold. So shelter should come before food and water.

Start with the easiest rules. Repeat a new acquaintance’s name when you reply, and reintroduce yourself to people you have met only once or twice. Decline invitations you are unlikely to keep. Locate the exits in any new building. Keep possessions grouped when traveling. And spend a weekend exploring your own town with a guidebook, as a tourist would.

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Excellent Advice for Living

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