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13 min 08 sec
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Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick

Shows how habits form through repetition and context and why negative thinking can be a habit too. It also shows how if-then plans, mindfulness and smarter surroundings help you build new routines and drop old ones.

Table of Content

If you keep promising yourself to exercise, eat better or stop checking your inbox, and keep slipping, you may be fighting something you cannot see. In Making Habits, Breaking Habits, psychology writer and PsyBlog founder Jeremy Dean argues that at least a third of our waking life runs on autopilot, driven by habits we barely notice. Some are useful and some are harmless. Others, especially habits of thought, do real damage.

Dean’s case is that habits are learned through repetition in a particular setting, and anything learned that way can be relearned. With a clear picture of how habits work and a few simple psychological techniques, you can build the routines you want and loosen the ones you don’t. In the ideas ahead you will learn to notice the routines running your day, turn a vague wish into a plan built on if-then rules, keep good habits enjoyable and weaken the grip of the ones you want gone.

You catch a ball before you know it was thrown, and you check an empty inbox for the hundredth time. Both moments reveal how much of your day happens without you deciding anything.

Some habits start with a clear goal. Others start by accident and pick up a convincing reason later. Knowing which kind you have changes how you should question it.

Two people lose the same job, and one recovers far more slowly. Dean traces the gap to a routine neither of them would ever list among their habits.

Wanting to run every day is not a plan, and telling yourself what you won’t do can backfire. Dean offers a short written exercise that turns a wish into a habit that runs itself.

The same process that makes a habit effortless also drains the pleasure out of it. Dean names the culprit and offers two small ways to keep a routine worth doing.

In one survey, 60 percent of 213 people failed to keep their New Year’s resolutions, and Dean notes that a bad habit’s consequences are often easier to see than the habit itself. The fix starts with a few minutes in a comfortable chair.

A failed attempt to quit can still leave you stronger, and a smaller plate can do work that willpower cannot. Dean pairs training your self-control with quietly rearranging the world around you.

Dean’s book makes change look less like a battle of character and more like a matter of practice. The habits that shape your days, from where you sit at dinner to how you judge yourself after a setback, were learned through repetition in a particular setting, and what was learned that way can be learned differently. Willpower plays its part, but it grows with use instead of being a fixed amount you either have or lack.

The practical path follows from that. When you want a new habit, write down the wish, the outcome and the obstacle, then turn the plan into if-then rules phrased as things you will do, and repeat them until they run by themselves. When you want to drop one, start by watching for it with a few quiet minutes of attention each day, then make it harder to do: a food diary, a stick of gum, a smaller plate, a bowl of fruit where the cake used to be. Along the way, change a detail of your good routines now and then so they stay worth doing.

Your hand will still catch the ball before you think. The difference is that you now get to choose which catches to practice.

About this book

What is this book about?

Many people know what they want to change. They want to run, eat better, smoke less or check email less often, yet the old routine keeps winning. Psychology writer Jeremy Dean argues that the reason is simple: at least a third of waking life runs on autopilot, and most habits operate below the level of conscious choice. Some are physical, like reaching for a cigarette. Others are habits of thought, such as blaming yourself after every setback, and Dean links these to depression. His angle is that habits are learned through repetition in a particular setting, so they can be learned again. Dean explains the three ways habits begin, why we keep repeating actions that no longer reward us, and how habituation drains the pleasure from good routines. Readers get a practical toolkit. The WOOP exercise turns a wish into a plan. If-then rules make that plan automatic, and coping plans prepare for the obstacles. Mindfulness helps you spot habits you never noticed, and treating self-control like a muscle makes each attempt count. Small changes to your surroundings, from smaller plates to a bowl of fruit on the table, finish the job.

Book Information

Rating:

Genre:

Personal Development, Psychology

Topics:

Goal Setting, Habits

Publisher:

Hachette

Language:

English

Narrator:

Nora

First published:

December 25, 2012

Pages:

272

Length:

13 min 08 sec

Get the book:

Amazon

Who it's for

  • Tired of fading resolutions

    People whose resolutions fade within weeks and who want a method instead of more willpower.

  • Smokers, snackers, inbox refreshers

    Smokers, snackers and compulsive email checkers looking for simple ways to weaken an old routine.

  • Stuck replaying setbacks

    Anyone who notices they replay setbacks or blame themselves by reflex and wants to change that pattern.

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About the Author

Jeremy Dean

Jeremy Dean studied law and worked in the internet industry before turning to psychology, where he earned two higher degrees. In 2004 he launched PsyBlog, a website that explains psychological studies and what they mean for everyday life. The site has been featured by BBC News, The New York Times, Wired and The Guardian. That long practice of turning research into usable advice shapes his approach to habits.

Ratings & Reviews

Ratings at a glance

4.1

Overall score based on 650 ratings.

What people think

Listeners find the material thoroughly researched and accessible, offering substantial insights that prompt fresh perspectives on behavioral patterns. They value the hands-on methodology, with one listener highlighting how the work converts scientific studies into actionable advice. The title earns praise for its clear prose and comprehensive references, establishing it as a useful tool for experts in the field.

Top reviews

Viroj

Finally, a self-help book that doesn't feel like it's trying to sell me snake oil through platitudes. Jeremy Dean provides a deeply researched look at the psychology of routine, specifically highlighting the 'WOOP' exercise: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, and Plan. I found the 'if-then' implementation intentions to be life-changing for my morning gym routine because they remove the need for constant willpower. The truth is, most books tell you to 'just do it,' but Dean explains why our brains crave the path of least resistance and how to navigate that. It's not a quick fix, but it's the real science of how change actually happens over those crucial 66 days.

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Aey

As a professional in the mental health field, I found the reference section alone to be worth the price of admission. Jeremy Dean does an excellent job of translating complex psychological studies into practical guidelines that are easy for the layperson to understand. I specifically appreciated the nuance he brings to 'thought suppression' and why it usually backfires when we try to quit bad habits like smoking. This isn't your typical 'feel-good' manual; it’s a grounded, realistic look at the 50% of our lives that we spend on autopilot. It makes you think about your daily routine in a completely different and more intentional way.

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Sofia

What sets this apart from other habit books is the total lack of rose-colored glasses or sugar-coating. Dean doesn't promise you can change your life in three easy steps; instead, he shows you the messy reality of the human mind. I loved the bits about using mindfulness to become more aware of our automated actions throughout the day. It turns out that noticing the behavior is half the battle when you're trying to pivot toward something new. The book is easy to digest and filled with actionable tips, like how to use 'pre-commitment' to keep your future self on track. If you want actual science, this is the one.

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Natchaya

Ever wonder why you check Facebook five times before you’ve even finished your first cup of morning coffee? Dean’s section on digital habits and the 'rat pressing a lever' analogy really hit home for my own rodent-like brain. It’s scary how much of our behavior is automated by context and environmental cues we don't even notice. I really liked the focus on 'implementation intentions' because it gives you a concrete script to follow when things get tough. My only gripe is that the book design could have been better to highlight the actual actionable steps. Still, it's a solid 4-star read for anyone wanting to understand their own repetitive mind.

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Ott

Picked this up because I've been trying to break my late-night snacking habit for several years now. What I learned from Dean is that I’ve been going about it all wrong by relying on sheer, exhausted willpower. He explains that habits are contextual, so changing the situation is often more effective than trying to resist the urge directly. I started using his 'coping planning' technique to identify temptations before they happen, and it's actually working for me. The book is well-written and clear, though it does get a little repetitive in the middle chapters. Overall, it's a very helpful resource for making small, lasting changes.

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Ern

Jeremy Dean takes a refreshingly unsentimental look at how we form and reshape our behaviors over time. I particularly enjoyed the chapter on happiness habits and the idea of 'hedonic adaptation'—how we get used to good things until they lose their spark. He offers great advice on how to keep those habits fresh by introducing variety into our daily routines. While some parts of the book felt like a retread of information I've seen elsewhere, the focus on 'if-then' links provided a practical framework I could actually use. It’s an insightful read for anyone interested in the intersection of psychology and daily life.

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Kavya

The information here is solid, but I definitely struggled with the delivery and the pacing. To be fair, Dean is a psychologist, so the writing leans more toward the academic and dry side of things throughout. I felt like the first half of the book was just an endless description of habit types that most people already recognize. However, the second half picks up when he discusses pre-commitment strategies and the importance of environmental cues. It’s a decent overview of current research, but I personally found 'The Willpower Instinct' much more engaging and better structured for the average reader to actually finish.

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Hemp

Not gonna lie, I had some very mixed feelings about this one after finishing the last chapter. On one hand, the science is clearly top-notch and well-referenced, but on the other, the organization is a bit of a mess. I would have loved to see more case studies or personal anecdotes to break up the dense data and research. The author is British, which occasionally leads to some phrasing that feels a bit stiff, though that wasn't a dealbreaker for me. It provides a good overview of things like the WOOP method, but the editing could have been much tighter to improve the flow of information.

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Ping

Too much fluff for my liking, frankly, and I really wanted more substance regarding brain chemistry. While I appreciated the scientific grounding, I found the book incredibly repetitive as Dean spent way too much time defining what habits are rather than telling us how to fix them. The author comes across as a bit condescending, almost shaming people for their lack of discipline without ever sharing his own struggles or proof that he has changed his own life. If you are looking for a practical guide with personal warmth, you might want to look elsewhere. It felt like a collection of academic papers stitched together without a cohesive heart or a clear roadmap for the reader.

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Aisha

Extremely disappointed in this purchase and the lack of actionable advice compared to the hype. It felt like a total repackaging of old research that you could find for free on a dozen psychology blogs without much effort. There is very little original content here, and the author's tone felt dismissive toward the very people who would be buying this for help. Frankly, the book is quite wordy and repetitive, often circling back to the same points without adding new value. I was hoping for deep insights into brain chemistry, but instead, I got a lot of odd sentence structures and vague advice. Save your money and just Google habit research instead.

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Questions about this book

Jeremy Dean argues that habits, actions repeated so often that they happen with little conscious intention, run at least a third of our waking life. Because they are learned through repetition in a particular context, they can be reshaped. With some awareness of how habits work and a few simple psychological techniques, he says, we can build habits that serve us and break the unhealthy ones.

WOOP stands for wish, outcome, obstacle and plan. You write down what you want, the best possible result and the obstacles you expect, then plan with if-then rules. If your wish is to run daily, the outcome might be finishing a 10 kilometer run, and the obstacles might be bad weather and discomfort, each met with its own if-then answer.

First, recognize the habit itself, since its effects are often easier to see than the behavior. Dean recommends mindfulness for this. Then treat self-control like a muscle that strengthens with practice, building in stages, such as one week without nicotine and then two. Add monitoring, such as a food diary, distraction, such as chewing gum, and changes to your environment.

Yes. Dean describes habits of thought, such as routinely seeing yourself as powerless and to blame when something goes wrong, for example after losing a job. He links negative thought habits to mental illnesses like depression. He also separates useful reflection on past experiences from rumination, which replays the misery of a failure over and over without drawing a lesson from it.

Dean offers three simple tricks based on how habits work. Keep fruit on the table instead of cake, since people tend to eat what is close and visible. Use smaller plates, because larger ones encourage eating more than you need. And try eating with your non-dominant hand, which slows you down so you notice you are full before reaching for more.

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