Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship

Finally got around to reading Snyder’s perspective on long-term intimacy, and I must say it’s a refreshing departure from typical manuals. Instead of focusing on mechanical 'tips,' he dives into the psychological underpinnings of why desire fades in marriage. The concept of the 'sexual self' as a non-verbal toddler was an eye-opener for me. It explains so much about the confusing irrationality of arousal! While he does weave in some spiritual language that might not land for everyone, it felt more like a 'sanctification of the ordinary' rather than a sermon. The two-step method is already helping us slow down and actually connect without the pressure of a specific outcome. It’s a gentle, wise guide for anyone feeling a bit stuck.

Ever wonder why the sparks seem to vanish once you’re comfortable and secure? Snyder tackles this head-on with a lot of humor and empathy. I loved the emphasis on 'the simmer'—the idea that you don't just flip a switch when you get into bed. You have to keep the embers glowing all day through small, non-sexual connections. The writing is incredibly accessible, making complex psychological barriers feel manageable. It’s one of those rare books that makes you feel understood rather than judged for having a low libido. The shift from a 'performance' mindset to a 'feeling' mindset is exactly what my partner and I needed. It’s less about the 'how-to' and much more about the 'why,' which is ultimately more helpful.

Wow. As someone who has read a lot of self-help, this is easily the most insightful book on intimacy I’ve encountered. Snyder avoids the 'plumbing' diagrams and instead focuses on the 'sexual self'—that impulsive, non-verbal part of us that needs to be nurtured. His tone is warm and frequently funny, which helps lower the defenses when talking about such a taboo topic. I particularly liked his take on 'sanctifying the ordinary' and how everyday moments of connection build the foundation for a better sex life. It’s a deep read that challenges you to look inward rather than just trying to 'fix' your partner. Highly recommended for any couple that wants to move past the routine and find real joy again.

After hearing so much buzz about this book, I finally gave it a shot and it didn't disappoint. Snyder’s approach to sex therapy is refreshingly honest and grounded in real-world experience. He treats the reader like an adult, acknowledging that maintaining a sexual spark in a long-term relationship takes intentionality and a shift in perspective. I loved the idea that sex should never feel like 'work.' That one realization alone changed how I approach my nights with my spouse. The focus on mindfulness and 'hotness' vs. 'intimacy' was exactly the distinction I needed to hear. Even the parts that felt a bit more religious or traditional were handled with a level of grace that made them easy to digest.

The chapter on the 'sexual self' is worth the price of the book alone. Snyder has this way of explaining our deepest insecurities and desires with such clarity and wit that you can’t help but laugh at yourself. It’s a professional guide that doesn’t feel clinical or dry. I appreciated the emphasis on being responsible for your own arousal rather than putting that burden on your partner. It creates a much healthier dynamic in the bedroom. While some might find the patient vignettes a bit repetitive, I thought they provided excellent context for his theories. It’s a comprehensive look at how to stay erotically alive over decades of marriage. A must-read for anyone who values their long-term partnership.

This book offers a fascinating look at the erotic mindset, though it’s definitely written from an older, male perspective. Snyder uses a lot of patient vignettes to illustrate his points, which makes the reading experience feel like sitting in on a therapy session. Personally, I found some of the stories a bit long-winded, but the core ideas about 'simmering' and maintaining an erotic charge throughout the day are brilliant. It isn't a book about toys or positions; it's about how you think and feel. My only real gripe is how he treats certain psychological theories as absolute facts, like the controversial section on early childhood connections. Still, if you can filter out the dated psychoanalysis, there is a wealth of practical wisdom here for committed couples.

Picked this up after a recommendation from a friend, and I appreciate how Snyder treats sex as a spiritual and emotional experience rather than just physical exercise. He frames intimacy as a way to find balance in a relationship, which is a lovely sentiment. To be fair, the book is heavily geared toward heterosexual, cisgender couples, though he tries to include some queer examples. The 'two-step' process is a great practical strategy for reducing performance anxiety. I did find the sheer volume of patient dialogues a little overwhelming at times; it felt like he was repeating the same four or five ideas through twenty different people. However, those core ideas are strong enough to carry the book through its slower chapters.

Look, this isn't your typical 'ridiculously great sex' manual despite the flashy title. It’s actually a very thoughtful exploration of the psychological blocks that keep us from being present with our partners. I found the 'simmer' technique to be a game-changer for our busy schedule. It’s just about keeping that flirtatious energy alive in small ways. The truth is, some parts of the book felt a little 'old school,' especially when he talks about gender dynamics, and I didn't always agree with his conclusions. But the practical strategies for enhancing intimacy are solid. It’s an engaging read that manages to make a heavy subject feel light and hopeful. Definitely worth a look if you're in a bit of a rut.

A bit of a mixed bag for me. On one hand, the advice on being responsible for your own pleasure is vital for anyone in a long-term relationship. On the other hand, the author’s religious background peeks through way too often for a book that claims to be secular sex therapy. I found the random biblical quotes jarring and, frankly, unnecessary. Also, I have to echo what others have said about the breastfeeding analogy—it felt incredibly off-base and sexualized a non-sexual bond in a way that discredited his otherwise solid advice. It’s a 'mid' book that has some gems buried under a lot of personal bias and slightly sexist undertones regarding how men and women perceive each other. Read it with a critical eye.

Not what I expected at all. I was looking for modern, science-based advice, but this felt like a throwback to 1950s psychoanalysis. The author makes some very strange claims about breastfeeding and 'first sexual exposures' that honestly made my skin crawl. It’s hard to take a professional seriously when they project that kind of weirdness onto infant care. Plus, the constant sprinkling of religious quotes felt forced and out of place in a therapeutic context. If you want something realistic that deals with the complexities of modern desire without the baggage of religious morality or outdated Freudian theories, I'd suggest sticking to Esther Perel. This was mostly a waste of time and left me feeling more frustrated than inspired.