A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles
Marianne Williamson
A Jesuit priest's handbook for beginners and doubters. It shows how anyone can start praying, what tends to happen once they do, and which methods, from the daily Examen to silent prayer, might suit them.

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Many people who would like to pray never start, because they fear doing it wrong or feel they are not holy enough. In Learning to Pray, Jesuit priest James Martin answers that fear directly: there is no wrong way to pray, and the only real mistake is giving up because someone made it seem harder than it is. His working definition is plain. Prayer is a conscious conversation with God.
Martin spent six years in corporate finance before joining the Jesuits. He writes mainly for beginners and draws on saints, a French comedy, Monty Python and his years as a spiritual director. His case is that prayer is a friendship anyone can learn. It deepens when you show up daily, speak honestly and pay attention to whatever rises up while you pray. By the end you have a handful of methods to try, from a daily review to wordless silence, and a way to read the feelings that surface.
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Most people who never pray have a reason, and many of the reasons sound like a verdict on their character. A former finance worker turned priest knows that feeling from the inside, and he finds the real obstacle somewhere else.
1 min 36 sec
A character in a French comedy is astonished to learn something about the way he has talked his whole life. Martin suspects many people are in the same position with prayer, and he points to where to look.
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An eighth-century monk wrote a definition of prayer that is still taught today, and two of its verbs carry most of the weight. A Monty Python scene shows what happens when the first one is misread.
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Nobody would meet a long-lost friend for dinner and offer five minutes. Many people approach God exactly that way, and a 1989 essay suggests what changes when the visit gets longer.
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A young French nun, an angry man from the Bible and a priest who once swore at God all point the same way. What they show about prayer runs against what most people were taught to say.
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Beginners expect voices, signs or nothing at all. What actually shows up is often stranger: old grief, sudden joy, a nagging thought about work. Martin explains why the interruptions may be the point.
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Some prayer is full of words and pictures, some is almost empty. Martin walks through both kinds without ranking them, and he does not dodge the hardest case of all: the prayer that seems to go unheard.
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What Martin offers in the end is permission. Prayer stops being an exam you might fail and becomes a friendship you can grow, built from short daily visits, plain speech and attention to what stirs inside. His closing promise is that when we pray, God shows up. We meet God, experience God’s love, are invited deeper and are moved to act. A reviewer in the Christian Century saw the book’s focus on a single Ignatian tradition as both its strength and its limit, but its practical advice is easy to carry into any day.
You can start tonight with the Examen, walking back through the day to notice where God seemed near and giving thanks for it. When you pray, say what you actually mean, anger included, perhaps picturing God beside you on the couch. And when a strong feeling or a stubborn distraction rises, treat it as something worth examining before you push it away.
Monsieur Jourdain spent forty years speaking prose without knowing it. Many people have been praying for just as long, and Martin shows them how to keep going on purpose.
Many people would like to pray but hold back. Nobody taught them, they assume prayer is for holy people, or they worry they are doing it wrong. James Martin, a Jesuit priest who once worked in corporate finance, writes for exactly these readers, believers and doubters alike. His starting claim is that everyone can pray and there is no wrong way to do it. He defines prayer as a conscious conversation with God and treats it as a friendship that grows through time, honesty and listening. Along the way he draws on St. John Damascene, St. Teresa of Ávila, St. Thérèse of Lisieux and the theologian Walter Burghardt, and also on Molière and Monty Python. Readers learn to recognize the prayer they may already practice without knowing it. They also learn what tends to happen during prayer, from strong emotions to distractions and dry spells. Then come practical methods to try: the daily Examen, imaginative contemplation, lectio divina and centering prayer. Martin also speaks plainly about prayers that go unanswered.
People who want to pray but fear they are doing it wrong or are not holy enough.
Believers whose prayer has turned dry, rote or distracted and who want fresh methods to try.
Doubters curious about what prayer is and what actually happens during it.
James Martin is a Jesuit priest who grew up in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania. He earned his degree at the Wharton School of Business in 1982 and worked for six years in corporate finance at General Electric. He entered the Society of Jesus in 1988 and was ordained in 1999. He is the author or editor of more than 15 books on spirituality and religion, including the New York Times bestsellers The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything and Jesus: A Pilgrimage. In 2017 Pope Francis named him a consultor to the Secretariat for Communication at the Vatican. He founded Outreach and comments often on religion in the media.
Listeners find that this work offers fresh perspectives on daily prayer, presenting it simply through various techniques. The writing is both clear and absorbing, with one listener mentioning that the experience feels like a conversation. Additionally, the book is spiritually inspiring, helping people discover inner peace and improve their connection to God. They value the truthful nature of the content and regard it as a top-tier handbook for everyone.
James Martin has a way of making the divine feel accessible without stripping away the mystery. This book feels like a long, warm conversation with a wise friend who doesn't judge you for your distractions. I’ve always found the idea of a 'personal relationship' with God a bit abstract, but the way he explains it through the lens of human friendship is a total game-changer. It’s a thick book, yes, but the prose is so clear and engaging that the pages fly by. I especially loved the sections on finding God in all things, which is a classic Jesuit theme but felt fresh here. If you’ve ever felt like you were 'doing it wrong,' this will give you the permission to just be yourself. It is a deeply honest and spiritually uplifting guide that I'll keep on my nightstand for years.
Show moreWhat happens after you close your eyes? That simple question is the heart of this book, and James Martin answers it with such humility and grace. I appreciated how he demystifies the 'scary' parts of silence and addresses the common excuses we all use to avoid praying. The book is incredibly thorough, explaining various approaches like centering prayer and petitionary prayer without making one seem superior to the other. It feels less like a textbook and more like a spiritual companion. I found myself highlighting passages on almost every page, especially the parts about how God communicates through our emotions and desires. It’s a refreshing, honest look at the struggles of the spiritual life. This guide has truly helped me find more peace in my daily routine and strengthened my sense of connection to the divine.
Show moreWow, I didn't expect a book on prayer to feel like a chat over coffee. James Martin avoids the stuffy, overly academic tone that plagues so many religious books. Instead, he offers a clear and engaging look at how to build a friendship with God. I particularly appreciated his honesty about his own struggles with prayer, which made the advice feel much more attainable. The section on the Daily Examen has already changed my evening routine for the better. It’s spiritually uplifting to be reminded that prayer isn't about performance, but about presence. Even though it's a hefty book, the structure makes it easy to dip in and out of different topics. This is an excellent guide for anyone who wants to take their spiritual life more seriously but doesn't know where to start.
Show moreAfter hearing Father Martin speak in a podcast, I knew I needed to read his full thoughts on prayer. This book did not disappoint. It provides such a simple and honest framework for understanding how to talk to God—and more importantly, how to listen. The writing style is so inviting that I found myself reading way past my intended bedtime. He addresses the doubts that many of us feel but are afraid to say out loud, like whether God actually cares about our small petitions. The emphasis on a 'personal relationship' is handled with such care and nuance that it feels real rather than cliché. It’s a spiritually uplifting read that has genuinely helped me find a sense of calm in a very chaotic year. Highly recommended for anyone seeking a deeper connection.
Show moreEver wonder why prayer feels like a chore sometimes? James Martin tackles that feeling head-on in this wonderful guide. He breaks down the barriers we put up between ourselves and the divine, showing that prayer is accessible to anyone with a willing heart. I loved the variety of approaches he suggests, from praying with nature to the traditional rosary. It’s clear he wants the reader to find what works for them specifically, rather than pushing a 'one size fits all' method. The book is intellectually stimulating but also deeply emotional and comforting. It has helped me see my daily life as a continuous conversation with God. Frankly, it’s one of the most practical and encouraging books on faith I’ve read in a long time. It’s a must-read for anyone on a spiritual journey.
Show moreFinally got around to finishing this 400-page tome, and I have to say, the depth of research is impressive. Martin covers everything from the Ignatian Examen to Lectio Divina, providing a toolkit that is both practical and profound. I’ve been a churchgoer for decades, yet I realized I was stuck in a rut of rote prayers that felt more like a grocery list than a conversation. The instructions on how to actually use your imagination during prayer were particularly eye-opening. Not gonna lie, some of the personal anecdotes felt a bit long-winded, and the pacing slows down in the middle. However, the clarity of his writing style makes even the most complex spiritual concepts easy to grasp. It’s a wonderful resource for anyone looking to move beyond simple petition into something more structured.
Show moreAs someone who has struggled with rote prayers since childhood, I found this book to be a breath of fresh air. It’s not just a 'how-to' manual; it’s an invitation to explore different ways of connecting with God that I hadn't considered before. The chapter on Ignatian contemplation, where you place yourself within a biblical scene, was a revelation for me. It transformed my scripture reading from a chore into a vivid, emotional experience. To be fair, the book is quite long and sometimes feels like it’s trying to cover too much ground at once. I also think people who aren't comfortable with traditional Christian language might struggle with it. Still, for those of us looking to revitalize a stagnant faith, the insights here are invaluable. It’s a clear, engaging, and ultimately very helpful guide for the modern believer.
Show moreThe chapter on petitionary prayer was the highlight of this book for me. Martin handles the difficult question of 'unanswered' prayers with a level of honesty that you don't often find in spiritual guides. He doesn't offer easy answers, but he does offer a way to stay in relationship with God even when things are hard. I’m an Episcopalian, and while the book is written by a Jesuit, I found the techniques perfectly adaptable to my own tradition. My only real gripe is that the book is a bit repetitive in places; he tends to circle back to the same points several times. Nevertheless, the conversational tone and the wealth of practical examples make it a worthwhile read. It’s an excellent guide for those who are willing to put in the time to study their own prayer life.
Show moreIs this really a 'guide for everyone'? That’s the question I kept asking myself while flipping through these chapters. While Father Martin is a gifted writer and a compassionate soul, the book is very much rooted in a Catholic—and specifically Jesuit—framework. If you’re an atheist or someone from a non-Western tradition looking for a universal meditation guide, you might find the heavy emphasis on a personal, theistic God a bit alienating. Truth is, it’s a great book for Christians who want to deepen their practice, but the title feels like a bit of a stretch. I also felt it could have been trimmed down significantly; 400 pages on prayer starts to feel repetitive by the halfway mark. It's a solid resource for its specific audience, but maybe not the universal manual it claims to be.
Show morePicked this up hoping for a concise guide, but it’s definitely a commitment. While Father Martin is clearly knowledgeable, I found myself agreeing with the sentiment that prayer doesn’t necessarily need to be this complicated. The book is filled with various techniques—Jesuit practices, journaling, centering prayer—but at times the sheer volume of options felt overwhelming. For me, prayer is like breathing; it’s simple and intuitive. Complicating it with 400 pages of instructions occasionally felt like it was getting in the way of the actual act of praying. Also, the perspective is very Western-Christian, which is fine, but it limits the 'for everyone' appeal mentioned on the cover. If you love a deep dive into Catholic spirituality, you’ll enjoy this, but if you’re looking for something brief and universal, you might want to look elsewhere.
Show moreMartin argues that everyone can pray and that there is no wrong way to do it. He defines prayer as a conscious conversation with God and compares it to a friendship that grows through time together, honesty and listening. The only real mistake, in his view, is giving up because someone made prayer seem confusing or reserved for holy people.
Martin writes mainly for beginners, from doubters to the devout, and says the book is meant for non-Christians as well as Christians. It suits people who were never taught to pray, who think they are not holy enough, or who feel nothing happens when they try. He hoped it could work like a spiritual director you take along with you.
The Examen is a daily practice from the Ignatian tradition that Martin treats at length. You review your day, notice the moments when God was with you, savor them and give thanks. To critics who call this navel-gazing, Martin replies that the practice is about God being with you, not about you.
He separates small distractions, like thinking about dinner, from ones that may be the very issue God wants you to face. If a distraction will not leave, he suggests telling God you are distracted. Dry periods, when nothing seems to happen, he calls human and natural, and he holds that the time spent with God still changes you.
No. Martin says honesty is essential and that God can bear human anger, pointing to Job, who rails against God. He recalls swearing at God himself, and his spiritual director called it a good prayer because it was honest. He also suggests strong feelings may need to be expressed in prayer more than once.
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