59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute
Richard Wiseman
Shows how people drift into living on autopilot and how to come back to themselves by owning their choices, clearing space, reconnecting with the body and letting emotions run their course.

1 min 04 sec
Days that blur into scrolling, meetings and late screens can leave you living a life that no longer feels like yours. In It’s On Me, existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic calls that drift self-loss and argues that it is common and painful, and that it can be reversed. Her way back starts with an uncomfortable idea: nobody hands you a finished self. You build one through your choices, and those choices are yours to own.
That idea runs through the whole book. You lose yourself by drifting, and you return by choosing on purpose, in small steps that involve your space, your body and your feelings. Kuburic turns this into practice: clearing out what belongs to an older you, moving and breathing your way back into your body, and letting emotions run their course. Along the way you meet a perfectionist who found her easygoing side alone in Thailand, and a neuroscientist’s estimate of how long a feeling really lasts. You get a way to notice when you have gone missing, plus habits for coming back.
2 min 00 sec
A woman scrolls before her eyes are open and tastes nothing at lunch, yet nothing seems wrong. Kuburic argues that this ordinary-looking day hides a slow fire, and she shows the four places it tends to spread.
1 min 49 sec
Some thinkers say you are born with a true nature you must uncover. Kuburic sides with those who say otherwise, and their view makes freedom both heavier and more hopeful than it first sounds.
1 min 55 sec
A rigid perfectionist went alone to Thailand after a breakup and met a side of herself she had forgotten. What changed had less to do with the beaches than with something you can create at home.
1 min 48 sec
Candles, a private room and music that matches your mood are the whole setup. The harder part is something many busy adults have not done in years, and noticing why it feels strange is part of the exercise.
1 min 44 sec
Hold a breath long enough and something stronger than your will takes over. Kuburic treats that moment, which can feel alarming, as a lesson in trust for anyone who copes by controlling everything.
1 min 45 sec
A neuroscientist estimates that a single emotion fades on its own surprisingly fast. So why does a bad mood last all afternoon? The answer points to a habit you can change and a simple trick for overwhelming moments.
1 min 05 sec
At the heart of the book is an argument about responsibility. Kuburic argues that you have to take full responsibility for your own existence, and that this burden of choice comes bound up with your freedom. Self-loss rarely arrives as a crisis. It builds up over a thousand unchosen mornings like Alex’s, until the room is full of smoke. The way out is just as ordinary: choices made with attention, repeated until they add up to a self you recognize.
The practices are modest on purpose. Clear out one thing that belongs to an older version of you. Give your body a song’s worth of free movement, or a few breaths held to the edge, and let it lead. When a strong feeling hits, look for the other emotions sitting beside it, and remember that, left alone, it should pass in about ninety seconds. Then ask what last week’s joy and despair were pointing at.
None of this needs a solo trip abroad, though Nina’s story shows what a little space can reveal. It needs the willingness to see the fire, and to decide each day that putting it out is your job.
Many people get through their days on autopilot. They reach for the phone first thing, half attend meetings and lose their evenings to screens. Existential psychotherapist Sara Kuburic calls this self-loss: a gap between the life you show and what is true for you inside. It shows up as numbed emotions, a neglected body, one-sided relationships and blurry values, and it costs people their sense of direction and meaning. Kuburic's angle is existential. In her view you are not born with a finished self waiting to be found. You shape it through what you choose, and that responsibility is both a burden and the source of your freedom. Small steps count as much as big ones, and even after a painful loss you can create new meaning. The book turns this into everyday practice. Readers learn why space and decluttering help an authentic identity come through. They learn how a free movement practice and an intentional breathing exercise rebuild trust in the body. And they learn why, according to neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, an emotion left alone lasts only about 90 seconds. The result is a practical way back to yourself for anyone who feels they are following someone else's script.
Professionals whose days blur into screens, meetings and evenings they barely remember.
People after a breakup, a loss or a big change who no longer recognize their own choices.
Anyone who pushes feelings down or ignores their body and wants simple practices to reconnect.
Dr. Sara Kuburic is an existential psychotherapist, consultant and writer. She co-founded The Phenomenological Society, writes essays, speaks in public and has been a columnist for USA Today. Born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada, she brings her own experience of war and of close relationships into her work. On her Instagram page, @millennial.therapist, she posts reflections meant to prompt self-reflection.
Listeners describe this work as a fantastic experience that offers a candid and straightforward approach, acting as a guide for those seeking self-understanding. They value the insights gained relative to the cost, viewing it as a beneficial purchase, while one listener mentions that the volume of information provided is truly remarkable. The inclusion of meditative inquiries and journal exercises transforms the book into an essential tool for individual development.
Sara Kuburic has a way of cutting through the noise that feels both incredibly jarring and deeply comforting. This book isn’t just a collection of platitudes. It is a rigorous roadmap for anyone who feels like they are just going through the motions. I found the meditative questions at the end of each chapter particularly helpful for digging into my own self-sabotaging behaviors. To be fair, it is a lot of work to actually engage with the prompts, but that is the whole point of existential therapy. You get out exactly what you are willing to put in. It is a solid investment for your mental health and definitely worth the cover price because of the sheer volume of actionable insights provided.
Show moreFinally, a self-help book that does not treat the reader like a child who needs their hand held. Kuburic’s "tough love" approach is exactly what I needed to stop blaming my circumstances and start taking accountability for my own happiness. The journal prompts are intense and forced me to confront parts of myself I have been ignoring for years. Personally, I think the value you get from these exercises alone justifies the purchase. It is a transformative guide that asks the fundamental questions: Who am I? Why am I here? If you are ready to stop making excuses and finally face yourself, this is the book you need to grab.
Show moreFew authors are brave enough to weave their own trauma into a clinical guide, but Sara’s story about surviving the war in Yugoslavia adds so much weight to her words. It makes her advice on resilience and identity feel earned rather than theoretical. This book is a masterclass in existential therapy, offering a clear path toward authenticity in a world that constantly asks us to perform. The meditative questions pushed me to look at my relationships with much more clarity than I have had in years. I have already recommended this to three friends who are feeling "stuck" in their routines. It is direct, honest, and deeply necessary.
Show moreStop sleepwalking through your life and pick up this book immediately. I wasn't familiar with existential psychotherapy before this, but Sara Kuburic makes the concepts accessible without stripping away their depth. The way she discusses taking responsibility for our choices—even the ones we don't realize we are making—is absolutely eye-opening. This isn't just a book you read; it is a book you do, thanks to the constant reflection prompts and journal questions. It is rare to find a guide that is this vulnerable while also being so professionally grounded. This is easily one of the best personal growth resources I have encountered this year. Pure gold.
Show morePicked this up during a particularly dark month where I felt completely disconnected from my own identity. What I found was a compassionate but firm guide that didn't let me off the hook for my own growth. The balance between theory and practical application through the journal prompts makes this a very high-value read. In my experience, most self-help books fail to address the 'why' behind our actions, but Kuburic dives deep into the core of human existence. It is an incredible amount of information packaged in a way that feels manageable and truly life-changing if you are willing to do the hard work of self-reflection.
Show moreThis wasn't exactly what I expected, but in many ways, it was better. Instead of the usual "positive vibes only" fluff, Kuburic uses her background in existential psychology to challenge how we view our own agency. The sections on setting boundaries and decluttering your mental space felt especially relevant to my current life stage. Not gonna lie, some of the philosophy can get a bit dense, but she balances it well with stories from her clinical practice. I appreciated the direct, honest tone that felt more like a conversation with a wise friend than a lecture. It is a practical tool for self-discovery that avoids being overly flowery or unrealistic.
Show moreThe concept of 'self-loss' hit me like a ton of bricks while reading the first few chapters. Kuburic perfectly describes that hollow feeling of being a passenger in your own life, especially when you are stuck in a soul-sucking career. I found the practical tools for reconnecting with my body and emotions to be the most helpful part of the entire experience. While the writing style is a bit dry in some of the more philosophical sections, the overall message of reclaiming your 'Self' is powerful. It is a solid 4-star read for anyone looking to transition from merely existing to actually living a life that feels authentic and grounded.
Show moreAs a longtime follower of the Millennial Therapist on Instagram, I had high hopes for this deeper dive into her philosophy. While the book provides a decent introduction to existentialism for the average reader, I felt it became quite repetitive toward the end. Truth is, many of the concepts could have been condensed without losing their impact on the reader. I also noticed a distinct lack of discussion regarding how systemic issues affect our ability to 'choose' ourselves. It is a helpful guide if you are feeling lost in your twenties, but it feels a bit shallow if you are looking for a rigorous academic text. Her one-liners on social media are punchier.
Show moreIs it worth the buy? That depends on how much you already know about self-help and basic psychology. The book is definitely direct and honest, which I appreciate, but I found myself skimming through several sections that felt like they were saying the same thing over and over. Gotta say, the author’s personal anecdotes were the highlight, as they provided much-needed context to the abstract theories. It functions well as a roadmap for self-discovery, but it doesn't necessarily break new ground if you have read a lot in this genre. It is a decent enough resource for beginners who want to learn how to own their 'Self'.
Show moreLook, I really wanted to love this because I have enjoyed the author’s social media content, but the transition to long-form writing felt clunky. My biggest gripe is how the book handles complex philosophical figures like Sartre and Nietzsche without providing enough historical or systemic nuance. It feels a bit like "Existentialism Lite" for the corporate crowd, largely ignoring the reality of those who cannot just 'choose' their way out of oppression. The introduction of phenomenology in the final pages felt like a rushed afterthought rather than a core component. Frankly, you are better off just scrolling through her Instagram feed for the highlights because the book overexplains trivial things.
Show moreKuburic argues that many people suffer from self-loss, a split between the life they show and what is true for them inside. Drawing on existential thought, she says a self is built through choices, so getting it back means taking responsibility for how you live. She offers practical routes back: making space and decluttering, reconnecting with the body through movement and breath, and letting emotions be felt instead of suppressed.
Self-loss is the common and painful sense of being estranged from who you really are. Kuburic’s example is Alex, who scrolls before getting up, eats lunch without tasting it and ends each day staring at a screen. It shows up in four areas: avoided emotions, a neglected or misused body, one-sided relationships built on seeking approval, and vague values that leave you without direction or meaning.
Kuburic cites neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who estimates that an emotion, once triggered, runs its course in about 90 seconds if left alone. Feelings linger because of the stories we tell ourselves and because trying to suppress them keeps restarting them. For an overwhelming emotion, Kuburic suggests naming one or two other feelings present at the same moment, which gives a fuller picture and puts the strongest one in proportion.
Two body practices stand out. In authentic movement, you find a private space, play music that fits your mood, let your body move however it wants, then reflect on what came up. Kuburic did this daily during the COVID-19 pandemic. In intentional breathing, you inhale fully, hold until your body forces you to exhale, then empty your lungs, noticing when your body takes control. She also recommends decluttering possessions and limiting beliefs.
It suits people who feel they are going through the motions or living by someone else’s script, whether in a demanding job, after a breakup or during a big transition. It also helps those who tend to numb their feelings or ignore their body. The practices are small and concrete, from letting go of one old possession to asking what brought you joy or despair in the past month.
Richard Wiseman
William B. Irvine
Andrew D. Thompson
Deepak Chopra
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Get the key ideas from It’s On Me by Sara Kuburic, plus 5,000+ more nonfiction titles.
