How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
A behavioral scientist's guide to finding the exact obstacle that stops your goals, whether impulse, delay, laziness, doubt or the people around you, and matching it with a strategy that research shows works.

Table of Content
1. Introduction
1 min 06 sec
You may already set goals, keep a journal and write long to-do lists, and still find that the change you want keeps getting away. If so, the problem may not be effort at all. In How to Change, Wharton professor Katy Milkman argues that generic advice fails because each of us is held back by a specific obstacle, and every obstacle needs its own fix. One of her first findings sounds almost too simple: people are more likely to work toward a goal right after a fresh start, such as a new year, a birthday or even a Monday.
Milkman, a behavioral scientist, approaches self-improvement as a diagnosis. Impulsivity, procrastination, laziness, low confidence and the pull of the people around us each block change in a different way, and research points to a tool for each one. Name the obstacle, choose the matching tool, and time the start well. Five obstacles follow, each paired with a tested response, from a locked savings account to a badge for Wikipedia editors.
2. Time your change for a fresh start
1 min 50 sec
Skeptics laugh at New Year’s resolutions, but gym records tell a different story about when people actually begin. The same moments that help you start can also wreck a routine you worked hard to build.
3. Pair hard work with something you enjoy
2 min 13 sec
Teachers in Florida expected snacks and music to wreck a math lesson. The few badges and mentions cost Wikipedia nothing at all. Both were surprised, and the reason shows how to beat the pull of the moment.
4. Lock in your future self before delay wins
2 min 00 sec
A bank president in the Philippines did something banks rarely do: he made it harder for customers to touch their own money. A year later, the results made a strong case for limiting your own freedom.
5. Make good behavior automatic so laziness loses
1 min 54 sec
Most mornings you shower, dress and make coffee without a single decision. Milkman argues that tough workouts and long study sessions can run the same way, and brain research explains why that matters.
6. Gain confidence by giving advice away
1 min 57 sec
People deep in debt hand out excellent tips on saving money. A psychologist set out to understand why they ignore their own good sense, and found that our kindest habit with struggling friends can backfire.
7. Choose peers who pull your results upward
1 min 55 sec
One twin was the better student in high school, yet at a military academy his brother pulled ahead. Years later, as an economist, he tested why with data on thousands of cadets.
8. Conclusion
1 min 18 sec
Milkman’s book makes change feel less like a test of character and more like a repair job. Most people who fall short of a goal have enough desire and enough information. They run into one particular obstacle, an impulse, a delay, a lazy default, a dip in confidence or the wrong crowd, and they fight it with a tool designed for something else. The repair starts with an honest diagnosis.
So before your next attempt, name what usually stops you. If it is the pull of the moment, tie the task to a treat you allow only during it. If it is endless delay, lock yourself in with a fine or a public pledge. If it is effort, repeat the behavior until it runs without a decision. Then look at your calendar for the next birthday, new month or Monday, and begin there.
Her final piece of advice turns outward. When you praise others, praise effort, not talent. Telling a colleague she has a gift for sales pitches suggests her ability is fixed, so a failure will feel like a verdict on her worth. Telling her you are impressed by how her skills keep improving says that work pays off.
The same holds for you. Change is a skill that grows with practice, one obstacle at a time.
About this book
What is this book about?
Most people trying to change already know the standard advice: set big goals, build habits, write to-do lists. Yet the goals keep slipping. Katy Milkman, a behavioral scientist at Wharton, argues that generic advice fails because it ignores why a particular person is stuck. Some of us give in to the pleasure of the moment, some put things off, some take the easy road, some doubt ourselves, and some are pulled along by the wrong crowd. Her approach is to treat each obstacle separately and pair it with a matched tool. She draws on studies of campus gym attendance, a savings experiment at a bank in the Philippines that raised savings by 80 percent, badges for Wikipedia editors, high school students writing study tips and thousands of US Air Force Academy cadets. Readers learn when to start a change, how to make hard tasks more appealing, how to lock themselves into good decisions, how to make effort automatic, why giving advice builds confidence and how to use the people around them to improve.
Book Information
Who it's for
Professionals missing yearly goals
Professionals who set goals every year and keep missing them despite journals and to-do lists.
Students and young workers
Students and young employees fighting procrastination, distraction or the pull of the phone.
Team leaders
Team leads who want to help people change without handing out advice that backfires.
About the Author
Katy Milkman
Katy Milkman holds the James G. Dinan professorship at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and co-founded the Behavior Change for Good Initiative, a research center devoted to the science of lasting behavior change. She is a former president of the Society for Judgment and Decision Making, hosts the behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and has published more than 60 academic papers. She has advised Google, Walmart, the White House and the US Department of Defense, and Thinkers50 named her among the world's 50 leading management thinkers in 2021.
Ratings & Reviews
Ratings at a glance
What people think
Listeners find the work delivers an excellent, hands-on overview of behavioral science while sharing practical tips for personal improvement. The prose is accessible, and listeners appreciate the narrative approach, with one listener mentioning that the book is enriched by clear examples and stories. They value how well the guide works for mapping out life goals, and one listener points out the effective integration of essential observations regarding human nature. Though listeners find the material captivating, opinions are divided on the topic of changeability, as one listener observes that transformation involves more than just sheer willpower.
Top reviews
Ever wonder why certain people seem to change effortlessly while you’re stuck in the same frustrating ruts? This book offers a compelling scientific explanation for that gap. Katy Milkman manages to take decades of behavioral research and condense it into a series of actionable strategies. I loved the concept of 'gamification' and using symbolic rewards to make boring tasks more engaging. It’s not just a collection of anecdotes; it’s a toolkit for navigating the obstacles that our own brains put in our way. While she does mention her privileged background quite a bit, the core strategies are universal. I’ve already recommended this to several friends who are struggling with their New Year’s resolutions.
Show moreWow, this book is essentially a masterclass in behavioral engineering that avoids most of the fluff common in the self-help genre. Milkman’s background as an engineer shines through in the way she structures the book. Identify the friction. Then find the tool to fix it. The 'fresh start' concept helped me reset my mindset after a rough professional setback last month. I also found the 'implementation intentions' to be much more effective than vague goal-setting. It’s a lean, pithy read that delivers a high-impact payload in just a couple hundred pages. This is easily one of the most useful books I’ve read this year.
Show moreAs someone who has struggled with chronic procrastination for years, I found the chapter on commitment devices particularly illuminating. Milkman doesn't just tell you to 'try harder.' She explains the engineering behind restricting your own future choices to ensure success. I actually set up a locked savings account after reading this to curb my impulse spending. To be fair, some of the examples feel a bit repetitive, and the tone can be slightly pitying toward those who aren't naturally conscientious. However, the 'cue-based planning' strategy is a total game-changer for my daily workflow. It’s a practical read that offers actual tools rather than just vague motivational quotes.
Show moreFinally got around to this one, and it serves as a fantastic, evidence-based summary of behavioral science over the last decade. It’s brief, breezy, and avoids the fluff that usually ruins this genre. The 'fresh start effect' is something I’ve experienced intuitively, but seeing the data behind it was eye-opening. Milkman uses vivid stories—like the transformation of Andre Agassi—to show how small tweaks in strategy can lead to massive results. Some critics might say she lives in an academic bubble, and they aren't entirely wrong. Still, for anyone looking for a science-backed nudge, this is much more reliable than your average influencer’s advice.
Show moreI’ve been making my way through the pop-psychology canon, and this stands out for its focus on the 'why' behind our failures. Unlike James Clear’s focus on the mechanics of building habits, Milkman treats behavioral change like an engineering problem centered on overcoming specific obstacles. She identifies friction points like laziness or impulsivity and provides tailored solutions for each. I especially liked the section on how giving advice to others can actually boost your own performance. It’s a bit repetitive in the middle sections, and the constant mentions of Wharton colleagues can get a little annoying. Nevertheless, the actionable advice is grounded in real research that you can actually apply to your own life.
Show moreHonestly, the highlight of this book for me was the deep dive into 'temptation bundling.' I’ve started allowing myself to watch my favorite trashy TV shows only while I’m on the exercise bike, and it’s been incredibly effective. Before this, I’d just scroll through social media and feel guilty about not moving. Milkman’s writing is very approachable, making complex psychological concepts easy to digest for a layman like me. I did feel like the book ignored systemic barriers—not everyone has the luxury of a supportive family or a stable job. But if you have a specific, manageable goal like flossing or saving money, these techniques are legitimately helpful.
Show moreGotta say, the writing style here is surprisingly breezy even when Milkman is discussing dense academic studies or medical data. She has a real knack for storytelling that makes the research feel personal rather than clinical. I appreciated the chapter takeaways at the end of each section, which helped me synthesize the main points quickly. My only real gripe is that the book feels a bit narrow in its scope of goals. It seems obsessed with exercise and voting while ignoring things like building deeper relationships or improving emotional regulation. If you want to optimize your productivity, it’s great. If you want a deep psychological overhaul, you might find it a bit superficial.
Show moreNot what I expected from the promotional blurb, which made this sound like a step-by-step manual for the average person. Instead, I got an endless stream of anecdotes about exercise, voting, and flossing. Seriously, the index mentions exercise over fifty times! While the science is solid, the book focuses on such narrow, 'should-do' goals that it ignores deeper personal growth. I wanted to learn how to be a better listener or a more empathetic parent, not just how to remember my colon cancer screening. It feels like a guide for high-achievers who just want to optimize their schedules. It is a breezy read, but the lack of imaginative goals was a letdown.
Show moreTruth is, I listened to the audiobook version and struggled to stay engaged due to the dry delivery. The book is marketed as a self-help guide, but it leans much more heavily into the medical and academic side of behavioral science. I found myself hitting the 1.5x speed just to get through the dense case studies about generic prescriptions and flu vaccines. By the time I finished, I realized I hadn't retained much practical information I could actually use tomorrow. It’s clearly well-researched, and the narrator was fine, but the structure felt a bit all over the place. If you're a psychology student, you'll love it; for the rest of us, it’s a bit of a slog.
Show moreWhile I appreciate the scientific rigor, I found myself increasingly frustrated by the 'academic bubble' the author seems to inhabit. Every success story in this book involves a support network of mentors, facilitators, and research teams. If you’re an individual trying to change your life without a Wharton professor in your corner, you might feel left behind. Milkman treats high-level support as a default rather than a privilege, which makes the advice feel exclusionary for those facing real systemic barriers. The focus on 'mindset' as a cure for a lack of support is genuinely disappointing. It’s a well-written book, but it lacks the imagination to help people who aren't already well-off or highly connected.
Show moreQuestions about this book
What is the main idea of How to Change by Katy Milkman?
Milkman argues that generic self-help advice often fails because people are held back by different obstacles, such as impulsivity, procrastination, laziness, low confidence or the influence of their peers. Each obstacle needs its own strategy. She pairs temptation bundling and gamification with impulsivity, commitment devices with procrastination, habits with laziness, giving advice with low confidence, and careful choice of peers with social influence. Starting at a fresh start helps too.
What is the fresh start effect?
Milkman and her colleagues found, using data from campus fitness centers, that people pursue goals more actively after milestones such as New Year’s Day, birthdays, a new semester or simply a Monday. A fresh start separates past failures from the new attempt. She warns that breaks can also disrupt good routines, as two studies of students’ gym habits around holidays showed, so protect what already works.
What is a commitment device and how do I use one?
A commitment device limits your own freedom so temptation has less room. Customers at the Green Bank in the Philippines who were offered a locked savings account saved 80 percent more the following year. You can build one by asking a friend to fine you an agreed amount when you procrastinate, or by announcing your goal publicly so that quitting would be embarrassing.
Why does giving advice help you change?
Psychologist Lauren Eskreis-Winkler found that unsolicited advice can hurt the receiver’s confidence, while giving advice raises the giver’s. In a study with Milkman, high school students who spent a few minutes writing study tips for younger students earned better grades by the end of term. Milkman suggests advice clubs, or imagining what you would tell a friend facing your own problem.
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