Don’t Say Um: How to Communicate Effectively to Live a Better Life
Shows how to speak clearly when the stakes are high by pointing your attention at listeners and practicing small physical drills that cut fillers, tighten rambling answers, sharpen pronunciation and turn slip-ups into trust.

Table of Content
1. Introduction
59 sec
Most people talk easily over dinner and then stumble the moment a meeting, a pitch or a hard conversation raises the stakes. In Don’t Say Um, communication coach Michael Chad Hoeppner argues that the fix starts with where you point your attention: the less you watch yourself, the better you speak. That is why familiar advice like relax, be yourself or stop fidgeting so rarely works. It tells you what to avoid, which only makes you more self-conscious, and it gives you nothing to do.
Hoeppner, who teaches at Columbia Business School, offers a change of focus toward the people listening, backed by small physical drills you can practice at a desk. Two fingers walking across a table, six sticky notes and a slice of wine cork each target one stubborn habit. Between them they deal with filler words, rambling and mumbling, and a final idea turns the fear of slipping up into a reason for an audience to trust you.
2. Stop worrying about your hands by watching your audience
1 min 48 sec
Your hands feel awkward and useless at a podium, yet you never think about them at a restaurant table with friends. The difference has little to do with your body, and it points to what strong speakers do instead.
3. Turn a slip-up into trust with your audience
1 min 59 sec
A presenter reaches for a flip chart marker and it is dead. Then the spare is dead too. What happens next can sink the talk or win the room, and the better choice runs against most people’s instincts.
4. Clear the ums out of your speech
1 min 51 sec
Telling yourself to stop saying um usually produces more of them. Hoeppner attacks filler words from another direction, with a drill that uses nothing but a tabletop and two fingers.
5. Say more in two minutes with six sticky notes
1 min 55 sec
Most people pad a two-minute update without noticing, and listeners drift long before the end. A handful of sticky notes or toy blocks can show you exactly where your message sprawls.
6. Crisper speech from a slice of wine cork
1 min 51 sec
Strong content loses its force when the words come out soft and blurred. Hoeppner’s fix costs almost nothing, takes ten minutes a day, and starts with a closer look at how the word snake sounds.
7. Conclusion
1 min 00 sec
Hoeppner’s book turns a vague goal, sounding confident, into something you can rehearse with your hands and your mouth. Every drill points attention the same way: away from the mirror in your head and toward the people in the room. Fingers that pause on a table, notes set down in silence and a cork between the teeth are all ways of caring about how a message lands. Even a dead marker becomes a moment of contact once you name it.
That gives the week ahead a clear shape. Pick the drill that matches your weakest habit, whether fillers, rambling or mumbling, and give it a few minutes a day before a meeting that matters. When you present, find one face and talk to it as you would to a friend at dinner. And when something goes wrong, say so plainly, fix it and carry on.
Remember the child with the scraped knee. Nobody needs a rule to look at that child. The best speakers bring that same attention into every room they enter.
About this book
What is this book about?
Most people talk easily with friends, then tense up in a presentation, a pitch or a difficult conversation. The usual advice to relax, be yourself or stop fidgeting rarely helps. It only lists what to avoid, which makes speakers more self-conscious, and it offers nothing concrete to practice. Communication coach Michael Chad Hoeppner takes a different route. He argues that good speaking grows from connection: the less you monitor your own performance and the more you attend to the people listening, the better you sound. He then turns that principle into simple physical exercises. Walking two fingers across a table trains you to pause instead of saying um. Six sticky notes force you to state one clear thought at a time. A slice of wine cork held between the teeth sharpens pronunciation in a few minutes a day. Hoeppner also tackles the fear of getting things wrong. He shows how naming a mistake openly, even with a joke, makes a speaker more human and more trusted. Readers get a short set of drills to practice this week and a clearer sense of where to put their attention in the moments that count.
Book Information
Who it's for
Professionals tense under pressure
Professionals who speak easily with friends but tense up in presentations, pitches and tough conversations.
Managers wanting simple drills
Managers and team leads who want simple drills to cut filler words and rambling answers.
Students and new professionals
Students and early-career people who fear making a mistake in front of an audience.
About the Author
Michael Chad Hoeppner
Michael Chad Hoeppner is the founder and CEO of GK Training, a firm that teaches communication skills to individuals and organizations. He teaches at Columbia Business School and has advised US presidential candidates and business leaders. He has coached professionals from financial firms, multinational companies and law firms, with clients from 43 industries across five continents, and he built an online academy and practice apps for his firm.
Ratings & Reviews
Ratings at a glance
What people think
Listeners find this resource highly effective for sharpening their communication abilities, particularly regarding public speaking, and value the practical exercises that help them speak with greater impact. The material is easy to digest and incorporates humor, with one listener highlighting how the advice transformed their confidence as a leader. Furthermore, listeners consider the content to be both enjoyable and engaging to practice.
Top reviews
Ever wonder why some executives just seem to own the stage while others fade into the background? This book dives deep into the 'why' and 'how' of that presence. It transformed my confidence as a leader by giving me a concrete strategy rather than just vague encouragement. The 'Don't Say Um' title is really just a hook; the content is a comprehensive masterclass in delivery and concise communication. I loved how the author peppered the chapters with humor, making the learning process feel less like a chore and more like a fun challenge. Truth is, I’ve read a dozen books on this topic, but the focus on 'embodied cognition' here is what actually made the lessons stick. My team noticed the change in my presentation style almost immediately after I started the drills.
Show moreThe strategy approach to better communication found here is far more actionable than the vague advice found in most public speaking manuals. Picked this up on a whim before a big presentation and it genuinely changed my approach to the podium. Hoeppner emphasizes that speaking is a full-bodied sport, and he provides specific drills for enunciation and physical presence that actually work. I particularly loved the 'one-sentence summary' exercise. It forced me to be concise in a way I’ve always struggled with. The tone is conversational and the humor kept me engaged through the more technical bits. For anyone who does public speaking regularly—especially preachers or teachers—I can’t recommend this enough. It turns the daunting task of communication into a series of manageable, physical habits.
Show moreAs someone who has a fair amount of public-speaking experience, I was surprised by how much I still had to learn from this. Finally, a book that treats communication as a physical discipline! The drills are easy to integrate into a daily routine, and they really help with enunciation and presence. I’ve always used 'um' as a crutch when my mind searched for the next word, but learning to use my hands and modulate my voice has naturally reduced that habit. The writing is fun and engaging, making the concepts of embodied cognition feel accessible rather than academic. This is the book I wish I had at the start of my career. It is well-written, practical, and highly effective for anyone looking to communicate with more impact.
Show moreThis book functions like a high-intensity workout for your communication skills, which I found surprisingly refreshing. Most public speaking guides just tell you to 'be confident,' but Hoeppner actually provides the drills necessary to build that confidence from the ground up. I especially appreciated the focus on physical presence and how our bodies influence our speech patterns. Frankly, the concept of embodied cognition was a revelation for me. It makes sense that speaking is a full-bodied sport rather than just a mental exercise. While some of the breezy humor felt a bit forced at times, the actual techniques for reducing filler words through better enunciation are top-notch. If you are willing to actually do the exercises instead of just reading them, you will see a massive difference in how you carry yourself in meetings.
Show moreAfter struggling with social anxiety in meetings for years, I found the techniques in this book to be a total game-changer. The author argues that we should channel our nervous energy into passion and movement rather than trying to suppress it entirely. I used to stare at the back wall to avoid eye contact, but Hoeppner’s breakdown of why direct connection matters really changed my mind. The drills are reasonable, actionable, and easy to do even if you only have ten minutes a day. Look, some might find his tone a bit too informal or 'breezy,' but I found it accessible and relatable. It’s a well-written book that treats communication as a skill to be practiced like a sport. My only gripe is that it gets a little long-winded in the middle sections.
Show moreGotta say, the focus on posture in the middle chapters was a highlight for me because I never realized how much my slouching killed my authority. This book is eminently practical and focuses on the often-overlooked area of delivery. While the title suggests it’s just about filler words, it’s actually a deep dive into how to project confidence. The author’s style is a bit conversational, which makes the information easy to digest even if you aren't a communications expert. I did find that there are a LOT of exercises, perhaps more than the average person has time for. However, just knowing the techniques is still incredibly helpful for awareness. It’s a solid 4-star read that offers a lot of value if you’re looking to sharpen your professional edge.
Show moreNot what I expected from a book on speaking, as it feels more like a physical training manual than a collection of tips. I won a copy of this through a giveaway and was pleasantly surprised by the depth of the posture and movement chapters. The truth is, most of us are nervous when we speak, and this book teaches you how to channel that energy into focus. I didn't love the author's tendency to refer to himself with all three names constantly, but the core advice is too good to ignore. It’s a well-written book that keeps a conversational tone while conveying very important, actionable information. If you need to communicate more effectively in a corporate environment, the strategy approach here is excellent. It definitely made me more mindful of my delivery.
Show moreMichael Chad Hoeppner certainly has a unique voice, though his penchant for using all three names and speaking in parentheticals can be a bit distracting. I found the writing style a little cluttered with unnecessary provisos and apologies that occasionally buried the lead. To be fair, the core advice regarding eye contact and posture is genuinely useful for professionals. He mentions working with high-level politicians, which explains why some of the tactics feel very 'big shot' oriented. Not gonna lie, I skipped a few of the more repetitive drills, but the chapter on posture alone was worth the entry price. It’s a decent resource if you can get past the author's somewhat idiosyncratic personality and the long-winded tangents. It is definitely more of a practical workbook than a theoretical text.
Show moreIt is quite rare to find a business book that encourages you to actually move your body rather than just nodding along to theories. Personally, I found the information on filler words very helpful, especially the advice to slow down and breathe. But the book gets a little long at times and tends to repeat itself. The author makes a big deal about eye contact, even going on a tangent about why he hates the term, which felt unnecessary. To be fair, if you actually do the many, many exercises, you will likely see improvement. For me, it was a bit too much homework. It’s good information that will improve your ability to communicate, but be prepared for a very specific, high-energy writing style that won't be for everyone.
Show moreLook, I really wanted to love this, but the author’s tone frequently rubbed me the wrong way. He has a habit of talking about himself in the third person which felt incredibly pretentious for a book about 'authentic' communication. I opted for the audiobook version, which I quickly regretted because his delivery didn't seem to match the expertise he claimed to have. He uses far too many parenthetical asides that break the flow of the actual instruction. In my experience, a guide for beginners should be more direct and less focused on the author's own 'big shot' client list. I think 'How to Give a Pretty Good Presentation' is a much better alternative for the rest of us. It was a struggle to finish this one because of the writing style.
Show moreQuestions about this book
What is the main idea of Don't Say Um?
Michael Chad Hoeppner argues that people communicate best when they stop monitoring their own performance and focus on connecting with their listeners. Generic advice like relax or stop fidgeting fails because it only names what to avoid. Instead, he offers concrete physical drills that build precision, brevity and clear pronunciation, plus a way of handling mistakes openly that makes audiences trust a speaker more.
How do I stop saying um when I speak?
Hoeppner suggests training precision instead of fighting fillers directly. His Finger Walking drill has you talk about a slightly unfamiliar topic while walking two fingers across a table, one step per thought. When you need to think, the fingers stop and you stay silent until the next words are ready. Over time, pauses replace the ums and your speech sounds more deliberate.
What is the cork drill in Don't Say Um?
It is an exercise for clearer pronunciation. You hold a small slice of wine cork between your teeth, slightly to one side, and speak while working to be understood, checking with a partner, a phone recording or a voice-to-text app. Then you remove the cork and speak again, noticing crisper words. Hoeppner recommends five minutes twice a day.
How should you handle mistakes during a presentation?
Hoeppner recommends transparency and flexibility. Name the mistake, own it and move on, just as you would correct wrong directions for a lost tourist. His example is a presenter whose flip chart markers keep failing; a light joke about the marker budget eases tension. Openness shows you are present and makes you relatable, which builds trust with the audience.
Who should read Don't Say Um?
It suits anyone who speaks comfortably in casual settings but struggles when the stakes rise: people giving presentations, pitching ideas or handling difficult conversations. Its drills need only a table, a few sticky notes and a wine cork, so it works well for busy professionals, students and managers who want practice they can start the same day.
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