Deliberate Calm: How to Learn and Lead in a Volatile World
Shows leaders how to stay steady when their usual methods stop working: notice stress reactions as they happen, question the stories behind them, and build teams and routines that keep everyone learning.

Table of Content
1. Introduction
56 sec
Under pressure, most leaders reach for whatever has always worked for them, and that is often the moment it stops working. In Deliberate Calm, Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet and Michiel Kruyt, all three of whom have worked at McKinsey and Company, explain why. Unfamiliar problems cause stress, and stress drives us back into old protective habits that block the learning those problems demand.
Their remedy is a skill they call deliberate calm: noticing your own reaction while it is happening, then choosing a response on purpose. The aim is to stop being run by stress, not to get rid of it. Each idea that follows builds that skill, starting inside your own head and moving out to your purpose, your team and the shape of your week.
By the end, you will have a short exercise for your next tense meeting, a way to read why a team has gone silent, and a simple plan to protect the energy that calm depends on.
2. Spot the moment your old playbook stops working
1 min 39 sec
Two sales managers with the same name face the same company crisis. One makes it worse and one helps turn it around, and the difference comes down to a single moment before either of them acts.
3. Rewrite your inner story to ease stress
1 min 34 sec
A communications director prepared carefully for her first meeting with the CEO, then fell apart over a look on her boss’s face. What she believed that look meant was the real problem.
4. Watch yourself from above before you react
1 min 43 sec
The authors offer a simple mental exercise that needs no equipment, only an imagined window in the ceiling. Its purpose is to open a small gap that changes what you do next.
5. Find a purpose that holds steady in a crisis
1 min 46 sec
A senior executive watched his team freeze during a market threat while his health began to suffer. What changed things was neither a better strategy nor a new boss, and it ended up reshaping his career.
6. Turn a guarded team into one that learns
1 min 52 sec
A capable team kept missing the cause of its supply chain problems. The breakthrough came when its leader noticed how one of her own reflexes was silencing a colleague, and the team changed how its meetings began and ended.
7. Design a week that keeps you adaptable
1 min 44 sec
Hard workers often end up living on autopilot, keeping routines that stopped helping them long ago. The authors propose treating your life like something you can design, with four parts to get right.
8. Conclusion
1 min 05 sec
Deliberate Calm makes a modest claim with large consequences. In the authors’ view, stress marks the edge of what you already know, and the people who do well there are the ones who can watch their own reaction long enough to pick a different one. The second Jeff did nothing heroic. He paused, looked at what was going on inside him and chose. Daniel did the same when he dropped the need to have the answer, and Giovanna did it when she saw how her grab for control silenced Mark.
That gives you a place to start this week. Before your next tense meeting, take a moment to look down through the imagined skylight and name one feeling and one thought. When someone’s behavior unsettles you, ask a question before you trust the story your brain has already written. And if you lead a team, open one meeting with a check-in and notice whether quieter people begin to speak.
The pressure will keep coming. What changes is that the moment between the trigger and your answer starts to belong to you.
About this book
What is this book about?
Pressure tends to make capable people worse at the very moment they need to be better. Faced with a problem they have never seen before, they fall back on old habits, push harder and get poorer results. Jacqueline Brassey, Aaron De Smet and Michiel Kruyt explain why this happens and what to do about it. Their central idea is deliberate calm. In their view, behavior is driven mostly by hidden thoughts, feelings and personal narratives, and the brain often predicts threats that are not there. The answer is dual awareness: watching what happens around you and inside you at once, so you can pause and choose. The authors then widen the lens to purpose, to psychological safety in teams and to a personal operating model built on awareness, purpose, energy and relationships. Readers get short, usable tools: a skylight exercise for tense moments, ways to reframe a stressful story, questions for finding purpose, check-ins and check-outs for meetings, and a method for redesigning an ordinary week.
Book Information
Who it's for
Managers in a crisis
Managers who push harder when a crisis hits and watch results get worse.
Team leads wanting input
Team leads whose meetings have gone quiet and who want people to speak up again.
Professionals under pressure
Professionals whose stress before big presentations or decisions keeps getting in the way of their best work.
About the Author
Jacqueline Brassey
Jacqueline Brassey has spent more than 20 years in leadership, organizational development and positive neuroscience, as Co-Leader at the McKinsey Health Institute and in academic posts in Amsterdam and Madrid. Aaron De Smet is a senior partner at McKinsey and Company, holds a doctorate in social and organizational psychology from Columbia University and has led the firm's work on organizational health. Michiel Kruyt, CEO of the advisory boutique IMAGINE, spent fifteen years at McKinsey, rising to partner, and co-founded the change facilitation firm Aberkyn.
Ratings & Reviews
Ratings at a glance
What people think
Listeners consider the authors' model for navigating uncertainty to be thought-provoking, although perspectives differ regarding the thoroughness of the included data. A large number of people value the hands-on guidance for managing emotions, emphasizing that methods for pausing before taking action assist in staying productive and receptive during stressful moments. Furthermore, the content receives praise for its unique outlooks, and one listener points out that the concluding workbook portion is particularly valuable for immediate implementation. They also suggest that the straightforward suggestions transform the book into a beneficial tool for any professional dealing with intricate office environments.
Top reviews
Ever wonder why you snap at your team when things go sideways during a major project? This book provides a clear answer and, more importantly, a way out of that reactive cycle. I loved the focus on recognizing internal narratives and ensuring we don't project our own stress onto those around us. It’s a refreshing change from the decades-old leadership tactics you usually find in standard management literature. The concepts are easy to understand and the advice on emotional regulation feels genuinely actionable for any professional. By remaining open and aware, we can change the entire temperature of our team. Highly recommended for those in high-stress roles.
Show moreWow, I didn't expect a business book to be this transformative for my daily mental health at the office. I learned a lot about the importance of 'charging myself' properly so I can lead others with more clarity and less friction. Recognizing my ultimate goals and aligning my emotional state with them has already made a noticeable difference in my productivity. The perspectives shared here are a refreshing change from the usual command-and-control theories. It’s a strong guide for anyone who wants to improve their teamwork and personal well-being simultaneously. Truly an excellent resource for modern leaders facing complex challenges.
Show moreFinally got around to finishing this, and I have to say, the practical nature of the final chapters really redeemed the slower start. If you’re a leader navigating an increasingly complex and volatile work environment, this framework offers a refreshing path forward. The authors emphasize emotional self-regulation, teaching you how to pause before reacting to high-pressure situations. Truth is, the dialogue-heavy examples became a bit tiresome toward the middle of the book. However, the workbook section at the end is incredibly helpful for immediate application. It’s a solid resource for anyone trying to maintain an effective presence when things get chaotic and uncertain.
Show moreThe chapter on intention-setting really shifted my perspective on how I approach my morning meetings. Instead of just diving into the chaos, the authors suggest a framework for maintaining a composed presence under pressure. I’ve read plenty of leadership books, but the way this links emotional self-regulation to actual business outcomes felt quite new. Not gonna lie, some of the dialogue-driven examples felt a bit forced and artificial after a while. Even so, the workbook section is a goldmine for anyone who prefers learning by doing. It’s a useful resource for navigating the messy dynamics of the modern workplace without losing your cool.
Show moreLook, the business world is getting more volatile by the second, and this book addresses that head-on with some great nuggets of wisdom. The authors provide a practical framework for leading through uncertainty that feels both modern and necessary. I appreciated the reminder to be careful with the stories we tell ourselves, as those narratives often dictate our reactions to stress. While I wish there were more charts and hard data to support the claims, the qualitative advice is very solid. It’s a good reminder to think through our actions before we bring our baggage to the team. Definitely worth a look for new managers.
Show moreAfter hearing about this through a colleague, I decided to dive in to see if it could help with my current workplace stress. The book is very easy to follow and filled with new ideas that I haven't seen in other management guides. I especially appreciated the specific advice on how to remain open and curious even when feeling threatened by external circumstances. My main qualm was the length of the dialogue examples, which felt a bit like filler after a while. Still, the workbook at the end makes it easy to apply these concepts immediately. It's a solid 4-star read for any professional navigating complex dynamics.
Show moreIt isn't every day you find a management guide that actually focuses on the internal state of the leader rather than just external KPIs. The focus on 'deliberate calm' as a skill to be practiced is incredibly relevant for today’s uncertain climate. I found the sections on emotional self-regulation particularly insightful for maintaining a presence that encourages others to stay open as well. While some of the advice leans heavily into the 'mindfulness' space, it's presented in a way that feels professional and applicable. The final portion of the book serves as a great tool for anyone facing a volatile environment. Overall, a very useful guide.
Show moreAs someone who navigates high-stakes corporate environments daily, I was intrigued by the premise of leading through uncertainty. The book offers a thorough insight into developing the capabilities needed to thrive when things are unpredictable. I particularly liked the 'pause and think' method for managing one's own feelings. My only gripe is that the women characters in the examples seemed to be the ones always needing 'work' or self-correction. To be fair, the tips are easy to apply and the overall message is quite strong. It’s an eye-opening piece for those looking to improve their professional presence, even if the case studies felt slightly unbalanced.
Show moreTo be fair, I appreciate the effort to ground leadership practice in the reality of our current complex environment. The core idea—staying calm intentionally rather than just reacting—is something every professional should master. However, I found the middle section of the book a bit repetitive and slow-paced. It felt like the authors were stretching a few good ideas into a full-length novel. The end of each chapter does provide helpful tips, which I found to be the most valuable part of the experience. It’s a decent book for self-reflection, even if it feels a bit thin on actual data at times. Good, but not groundbreaking.
Show moreThis felt like a missed opportunity given the high-profile expertise of the authors involved. While the premise of 'deliberate calm' is fascinating, the content often feels like a lot of fluff without enough concrete data to back it up. I was looking for deeper insights into the neurological science, but it mostly felt like a repackaged version of basic mindfulness techniques. Frankly, if you’ve used apps like Headspace or practiced basic meditation, you’ve heard much of this before. It’s not a bad read, but it didn't quite live up to the hype for me personally. The framework is okay, just lacking the depth I expected for a business book.
Show moreQuestions about this book
What is the main idea of Deliberate Calm?
Brassey, De Smet and Kruyt argue that new and unfamiliar challenges trigger stress, which pushes people back into protective habits that block learning. Deliberate calm is the skill of noticing your thoughts, feelings and body sensations as they happen, so you can choose a response instead of reacting on autopilot. The goal is to observe stress without being carried away by it, which leaves room for better decisions and new solutions.
What is the difference between the Familiar Zone and the Adaptive Zone?
In the Familiar Zone, your existing skills and knowledge are enough to handle a challenge. In the Adaptive Zone, they are not, and you need to learn a new approach. The authors warn that adaptive challenges are stressful, and that stress tends to trigger protective behavior that shuts down the very learning and creativity the situation requires. Recognizing which zone you are in is the first step.
What is the skylight exercise for dual awareness?
Imagine a skylight above you and picture yourself looking down through it at yourself in your current surroundings. From that position, notice your physical sensations, emotions and thoughts, and try to name at least one emotion and one thought. The authors say that with practice this view becomes available even in stressful moments, giving you space to respond more flexibly.
How does Deliberate Calm help teams?
The authors connect stuck teams to a lack of psychological safety, the shared belief that it is safe to take interpersonal risks. Leaders can build it by treating mistakes as learning chances and inviting every voice. Teams also benefit from knowing each other’s stress triggers, opening meetings with a check-in and closing with a check-out, and naming an observer to point out group patterns, as Giovanna’s supply chain team did.
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